simplicity

2009-09-15T01:23:00.001+08:00

I have shifted to www.stephaniecherishedmoments.blogspot.com(:

Friday outing!

2009-08-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

Let me start with the outing on Friday=D

Went out with Koh Jun Xian and May Ling. Jun Xian supposed to help out for our GEMS skit but due to unforseem circumstances it was postponed to next week

Damn happy cux we weren't prepared.

But anyway my GEMS group members 5 people 4 people from Accounts one. So we discussed a bit about business law and about the different class cultures. Come to think of it. My class still da best la. HAHA. LAWLS.

Miss Rachel left the classroom open so May Ling Jun Xian and I hanged around the classroom for a while. The movie was due to start at about 6.45pm. So we chatted.

Dunno what time we left school for bugis. They're sweet la. Bugis near my house. =D Thoughtful of them.

So May Ling and i brought Jun Xian shopping. Which he seldom did. HAHA. and then realised a lot of things while walking around the shopping malls and bugis street. May ling looked very pretty that day. I like her top! But they don't sell it anymore( We went to Bugis street to try find it)

So the movie was nice.The title is UP.I like the movie , it was touching. It encompass a lot of emotion. And many values. but i didn't cry. it wasn't that i didn't feel anything but maybe i've come to accept certain things=D

After movie went ot Tian Tian Huo Guo. Food was ok la. Ma la tang nice! HAHA. but nice company. We all glued to MING ZHONG ZHU DING WO AI NI. nice show. Shd watch tt one i gt cry.

HAHA. kk update soon.

The wind against my face=D

2009-07-26T16:13:00.003+08:00

Currently i am at SP. Doing my FF project. Well now is a bit of break time... haha.

SP can be really nice at times. Its windy here- at the engineering block( Our hangout section) . The cool breeze is really luring me to sleep. It seems to be singing a soft and almost inaudible lullabye...

I finally bought a shampoo suitable for my hair type. Finally an end to oily looking hair RIGHT AFTER washing my hair. Worth the nice smell and refreshed feeling. The cost? about $7. Its worth making life smell better right? =D

Last night i was having a heart to heart talk with my parents. I'm so glad i finally got it off my chest. I'm so sorry papa and mama.. i 'm not really brillant and all these years you gave me an education and i repay you with such lousy results=(.You noe when i first got my results i wasn't unhappy. I just felt so sorry that you couldn have high hopes on me like what other parents can dream thier kids to be. Lawyers la, doctors la , accountants la. Haha. next time hope you have a smarter kid kk=D

But you didn't scold me. After failing cost accounts at 30 marks, you said you understand that Maths and accountancy don't go with me. You asked me not to be too hard on myself. For the first time i saw u were proud that i tried. Struggling through since secondary 3. Especially with Maths. You said you couldn;t understand that after trying so hard i still wasn't able to produce my tutorial. You asked me to ask people for help. And i'm lost i dunno where to start. But i guess things are FINALLY starting to make sense to me. Why is it so hard to pay attention in lecture and tutorials? Dad you just kept quiet cux u always knew i suck at such stuff.

Guess we've gone a long way to accept this.=D That i won;t be some career woman. So i told you the truth of my plans- if i cannot go to university to take FASS i would join NIE to be a teacher. Both you and mum just smiled. You said you were proud of my decision and that's all i really need now=D.

Shall study really hard for taxation=D And pack my table after thur.

LALA=D

2009-07-25T21:29:00.002+08:00

So many things happened recently=D
Many stuff at home. Make my heart a bit heavy.
Theres a knot in my heart
Been silent all friday.
Didn't seem to hear anything.
Finally understand cost a bit better. hehe.
Class was hyper.
But i wasn't listening to the joke.
Still it was nice to see the class filled with laughter yes?
I'm such a blessed girl
I still can hear the laughter of my classmates^^

Thinking of my sister my deeply respected uncle(almost like a father to me), my mum my dad my aunt(not direct) who passed on. About how i am going to face the days further down which seems so tough. The many things which i wun write here=D

Sometimes i feel tired at everything that happens but hey! time to stand up and get going.
Get going get going! Today woke up with a smile. Life is still beautiful in many ways.
I thought of the people i love. The people i treasure. The people who are around me.
My sister. I really love her very much. I'll never give up on her!

Dear sister you must never never give up on yourself. Please don't misplace the love i have for you. I'm praying that you won't trail down the path of destruction. Everyone gets tired. Don't blame our parents you putting you down. They are very stressed. They argue too. Dear sister there is many things you don't understand. Be more sensible. Everyone is facing a lot of pressure especially our parents. Theres still a long line of worries.U noe? Grandma and many more ppl to take care of.

Dear Uncle _____ though you will never read this but i hope hope hope i will see you come down from the staircase once again. Want to see u full of life again. 10 years already! Time flies! When i was just nine, i remember the hope you gave me then. The tears i cried alone seem to evaporate into smokes of smiles when you assured me daddy would be fine. Somehow i feel sad that you are unwell now. Because i miss seeing ur smile. After doing all u can for others... i just like seeing u happy from the sidewalk because u are always so busy with business and family i rather wish u all the best from aside. U may not remember the girl who u gave hope to 10 years ago. But all i want is for u walk down the stairs like before and be received with the love of ur family u love so much.

=X=~!

Mugging taxation the whole day. Classifiying tax deductibles and taxable haha. read thru 2xs le. Hope i will do well for tax. At least pass.

=X=!
Mentoring was fun. haha. Met Sharon after discussing FF project. around 1 pm. Next wed shd be mugging tax alone bahs. haha. Posted to Qifa. HAHA. Had this feedback thing to write after the session. write a bit too much. HAHAHA. next time i going to write 1 line only. LOL.
But anyways my mentee was rather easy to teach. From 1st impression a nice and pleasant girl.Thoughtful too i guess.

Luckily no one hear me when i teach her. Cux as usual i'm too honest. My strength and weakness. =D I was like hey u dun like maths? Maths is tough ya. Me also dun like maths but hey with practice it ain't that bad. You must do your best ya?
Hmm you look tired? You ended school at 11 plus? I ended mine at 10am! i understand u r tired. When you cannot tahan tell me ok?I can always talk to you about other things.
Hey i think ur goals are reasonable eh. I'm proud of you. HAHA. I really am. She aimed 60 plus for almost everything except malay. And i said. I'm sorry i can't teach u malay. cux i dunno
She just laughed. She's such a sweet girl=D

My mentee was the sort who wouldn't tell you if she needed to pee or if she didn't understand anything. She was the guai guai sort who like dolphins cux they r friendly. Something i wasn't expecting. I was expecting a ZHEN SHI BU GUAI type but no eh.

So you can imagine my surprise.

Another surprise was when her friend who refused to speak suddenly talked a lot.( She just handed me an envelope. den threw a big book of photos on my lap.)Especially since we were at the same table. I had tried to talk to the girl but she didn't respond too. Her mentor did feel lost at what to do with her. i can emphatize with that cux my reading buddy in the past was like that. But its ok that girl's mentor!( I can rmb ur face bt nt ur name PS) Man Man lai jiu hao=D she wil slowly open up de. But maybe really very slow la. <3

Anyway she was talking a lot about her family to me. Telling me the stories of each picture. And then suddenly she said.:My parents are divorced. Feeling: stunned tio. So i asked her: Do you still see your parents. she just nodded her head. Maybe that's why she so quiet.

My mentee was yawning away. HAHA. Tiring to be a monitress?she said gt 3 boys in her class very noisy hard to control. Den she a bit stressed. When u become older small problems like this seem so cute.

=X=~!

Time to go home. Didn't really noe wad the time was. Sharon was walking another way. She GOT STRAIGHT BUS HOME. win already. HAHA. sharon jia you! hope u do well in SP!

So bused back with other mentors. Realised YanLing is a nice girl. =D damn cute her siblings one prettier than the other one. LOL.

Henry was talking abt all sorts of scandals in mentoring. HAHA. ah yo zhen shi de. Bt it was gd entertainment since i'm the damn busybody type. Still not as many scandal as Come seek couple club. HAHA.

=x=~!
Did FF tutorials when i got home. 8pm. managed to do eh. Wa. Surprising eh. Jia you steph! Sam did the presentation on a question that i found was different from the rest n did catch me a bit off guard. But later on suddenly gt it le. Cux i paid attention. Den later dunno wad muz use algebra de! omg. Imagine. How can the people in my class be so smart? In the end i dun understand wad he is saying. But ok la. Teacher de i get it. HAHA.

=x=~!
Hui fen finally got her letter of approval. =D she posted to East spring=D. Wa damn happy. If she didn't get the letter i think i wud die from self blame. Shes my bestie (0ne of) imgaine if she was unhappy i wud be too. Wa fen! abt 7 yrs le ya! haha.

Finally FAITH IS THE LIGHT THAT SHINES IN YOUR HEART WHEN ITS DARK ALL AROUND! HAHA.

hehe!

2009-07-18T21:35:00.003+08:00

Finally update after a long time. I'm thinking: Life throws us many adversities and challenges. You fall and you climb up again. You get hurt and you recover. You love and be loved. You cry for and be cried for and you laugh because of and another laughs because you. And so many things in life make u smile.

The papers say people who smile and get happy over small things and make others happiness as theirs tend to overcome and better face adversities. hey that's really true. The state of mind is a wonderful thing isn't it. Its so within your control. You don;t have to be unrealistically optimistic butits the angle at which you choose to view things and smile cux you didn't lose the lesson. HAHA.

I just love this baby picture i got from an email. Isn't she sweet? Hehe=D So pinky! ^^ I wud dress my daughter that way IF i get the chance. WAHHAA.

Focus!

2009-06-30T15:20:00.002+08:00

Just came back from FF paper. HAHA. Dunno what to think . I didn't study. So expected de. Tons of question i dunno how to do. HAHA.

In the end i am my biggest enemy. My own greastest saviour. From here i needa focus. Study. Don't waste my poly education.

Even though i choose accounts cos of my parents but they had my best interests at heart and i made my choice. I 'll have to stick through! Jia you^^!

Last update: Ehto got into mentoring.
Feeling: Surprised. HAHAHHA
Cux i didn't noe they sent the mail to my SP account and i went to check my MSN account. Missed the sch selection thing. Jia Qi not gg liao. Yuqi nv go interview. So i'm gonna have to start all over again. LOL. Daph joined another CCA ( somehwat like mentoring de. Dunno wad ). Mayling hear interview sian diao liao. HAHAHA.

But that's not the point. Happy to give to the community! ^^ Hopes I will have a fun time as a mentoring member. LOLS. Hope it is worth it man! Cux yr 2 liao. Studies more impt than ever. Whee!!

STEPHANIE WHEN R U GOING TO EXERCISE HAHHAHA.

Don't judge me!

2009-06-24T20:39:00.003+08:00

Everyday is a learning experience and no two days are really the same at all. Cux you today and tomorrow is never the same. People are constantly changing by the day and everyday bit by bit there is a little more understanding to the world around us..

I've come to realise why is it that although my parents love my sister and me a lot, why do we always feel stressed up around them. Its cause of judgement.

People always tend to judge others including myself. My parents judge me from their point of view. They don't understand me and they never will but they love me a lot.
They judge me for my feelings my actions and my thoughts.

My mum always ask me to be myself with them but i am always unable to. I asked myself why many a times and now i seem to catch a glimpse of why. This is because they judge who i am. And they have never truely accepted me for who i am.

I 've always understood its natural for people to judge others but i guess i always thought that being the most true to my feelings with my family is the best but maybe its not.Cause maybe to me their judgement is weird to me cause i felt the whole world can judge you but at least ur little haven (family) shouldn't. Cause i'm more real with my friends. And this is cause my really close friends don't judge me that much. At least that's what i believe.

Maybe its an innate characteristic that parents will be critical of their children for the sake of improving and re improving one's character. But i suppose the case with my family is that we are really a family of people with ultra different personalities. My Dad is prob a mix of Mel and Chol and my mum Prob a Phleg, my sis prob a mel and me sanchol. Ok maybe its just me lol. HAHA.

Its so hard cux they're always judging me. I can't cry( kena scolded) can't laugh( dad too serious) can't be myself so i'm just quiet at home. I dun really like being at home with my family cause it just reminds me of how not me i am at home. So i usually am in my room at home. ( usually sleeping). I noe its very unfilial of me. But i'm trying hard mum n dad! Maybe as hard as u are too! Spending time with u guys can be very tiring to me cause its a mix feeling. Like i don't know u but i love you very much. And i see all you do as a parent i noe its not easy! And your love for me and sis is something i prob will only understand when i have my own kids.But then again. You have taught me many things. Your good characteristics that me a San dun have WAHAHA. You taught me to learn on my own two feet. You taught me to struggle with my emotions. You taught me by conduct to accept others because of your say only but didn really mean it acceptance of me. I have learnt to see others for the person inside them. Instead of using purely judgement. So many things to learn in life!

I guess i really want to improve my relationship with my family members and i really do love them=D But i guess theres still a long long way man!

I really want my parents to see my strong points as well. Instead of always seeing the bad.I couldn't undertsand my dad perfectionsim(even a holiday also must according to schedule de. Chill man!Work den on schedule, holiday just run ard lah! SO STRESSED FOR WHAT!!) and his anti socialness and my sister's hatred for almost everything. Now i guess is still don't really.

But my Gems teacher taught me about different personalities and when i put my family members into each one and try to understand them it makes it a whole lot easier to see it from their point of view! No wonder MS Rachel said it helped her a lot!

Now i see it from their eyes, it makes them more human to me i guess. I suppose asking a Mel to accept a San child and be a hair pulling experience huh? So i've learnt to be Chol at home. Isn't a bad thing though. (I'm a high san n high Chol, 53,50)Guess they think i'm a scary monster.

WAHAHHA. I wish you could open your heart to see who i am. Don't just say. You don't mean what you say.

Where do i go from here?

2009-06-22T17:25:00.002+08:00

Been not able to study for a long time. ( Not exact words)

Dad: (Looks at me) Its been a long time since i saw you studying with so much enthusiasim and vigor.

Me( thinking): Its been a long time since i did something i like.

Dad: Accounting has never really been what you wanted from day 1 am i right? Actually u can't really do accounts cause XXX and i'm not saying you can;t.. but u'll struggle.. and be careful.

The rest is history,

HAHA.

Truth is i joined accounting because i thought you believed i could do it. I know u are convincing yourself that ur daughter can. But too bad she's not really for that kinda line and neither is that her interest. Sorry.

I got through year 1 faring borderline with a ending GPA of 3.2. Comforted that i struggled through not only with the syllabus but also with the fact that i joined accounts knowing that's not where i wanna go.

Took me a long time to realise that i shouldn't join things cause of other's opinion and confidence in me. It should be for me . I should live my life for myself essentially. Even though i know i have to consider other's feelings. But ultimately its me. Only i can determine what i want the most.

So after not studying for so long. With a new resolve, i shall make the best of my present , keep the future in mind, Plan for the future and last but not least. Live for myself.

Plan 1
Study hard for MST
Plan 2
EXCERCISE to keep fit! So as to not waste medical resouces and medication. Cheers to a healthy lifestyle=D

random

2009-06-22T16:51:00.002+08:00

I wanted to continue posting the Redang photos but theres just too much! HAHA . So i'll blog about something else before continuing.

This morning i had somewhat of an onset of Asthma. Its my Sister's birthday today. I feel bad not being able to celebrate it with her. I tried to hold the Asthma back as far as i could but in the end i cried because i just suddenly felt like a burden cause it was such a happy day and i had to have an asthma attack.

When mummy asked me why i just didn't want to explain anything. I just wanted my sister to go to her fav K box and sing so i wasn't reluctant to go there just that i wasn't feeling very well so maybe i didn't look too happy.

But this incident did teach me something . That i should stop taking everything as my fault and don't feel as if i'm responsible for everything. Cause i'm not. Like today. I shouldn't have cried. I DIDN'T ask for an attack. And the late night sleeping that might have caused it? I dunno. I guess i was thinking about tons of stuff bahs. HAHA. I had to sort it out if not i cannot sleep.

I realised one thing. Only i can help myself. If i was to know what was my inner self i had to search for it myself. And i didn't have a choice. Because i am such a person. I need to find out my inner voice.

Sure i enjoy each present moment and enjoy my sweet treasure of past memories but sometimes things happen and i get to know myself more and more. And then i realise there's so much more about me i don't know. I am my biggest mystery.

It feels sweet to be alive. I should't cry. There are many things to learn. Like to learn to be stronger. I'm growing each day. Learning to be stronger. Someday i'll learn when to keep my tears and when to let it out. Someday i shall find my balance=D

Redang Part1.1

2009-06-21T00:50:00.007+08:00

These are some pictures taken before we headed for the beach. Ting yu is up up and away!

Hui Fen and i trying to make a heart shape. LOLS. Not bad lah. Wanted to upload Hui Fen and Lynn and Ting Yu de but couldn't squeeze it in. ARGHH..

Me wearing my SP black shirt. I love that shirt. I thought i lost it forever. But i found it again!! We were going to look for a place to put our stuff. And my photographer was Ting Yu!

Hui Fen trying to act Hip Hop! LOLS. She coup the hat from You Yi de lol.

YAY! My Star Formation! Finally! HAHA. Using legs. In Redang waters!! hehex! Phtogrpahed by me!

kk tired le. I post more pictures next time. HAHA.

Redang Part 1

2009-06-19T22:06:00.038+08:00

Back from Malaysia Redang! went with a bunch of sweeties. Hui Fen, Lynn, Pearl, Katherine, Ting Yu, You Yi and Wilson!!

It was a super long journey. 16 hours on the road. =D I shared a room with Hui Fen and You Yi.

I'm so gonna upload the pictures. ^^

14th June. 8+ pm.
Met the whole bunch of sweeties. Saw You Yi first. She was carrying a small bag. Stun tio! why go Redang bring so little thing. Shocked!But its cuz she left her other bag with the rest of the people. LOL=.="

Anyways we headed down to Golden Mile Tower. We walked to and fro in front of the tower without knowing that was the tower. Funny lol. HAHA.All of us feel cheated.

Later we met Hui Fen who cabbed down to the tower cause she couldn't meet us at the station.
She look like air stewardess. Elegant and high class. HAHA, With the scarf around her. LOLS.

I wear Singapore Polytechnic Black shirt. HAHA. Got contrast when stand beside her. WAHHAHA.

Our next problem was we couldn't find WTS.When we finally found it we feel cheated again. Cause the place is just in front of us again. We walk one big round to come back to where we left off. The name not the same de lol. Cheated. HAHA

But anyways there was a jam at the causeway.Our dear bus was 45 minutes late. Couldn't blame bus-y cause the jam wasn't his fault. BUT next time BU KE YI LE WOR!. HAHAHA. I feel so childish.

You see the picture here? This was taken while i was peeing. Win liao lol. Never wait for me. WAHAHA. But nice right! hehe. This is in the toliet after passing Singapore Customs.

Everyone say Cheeze!!

CHEEZE!! Reminds me of Meng Xi HAHA.

The Bus ride was a long and cold one. Really feel very cold. The aircon was freezing me. I only brought my cardigan along. Super Duper Ultra cold. Maybe without the ultra la. In the end i couldn't take it i took out my towel to provide me some warmth. Thanks towel!

My towel is cute. It has rabbits and flowers and is a sweet yellow in colour. I'm so childish, But i just like my towel!

Upon reaching the jetty we had to take a 1.5 hour ferry ride to Redang! I was famished!
Saw lotsa coconut trees along the way. Wooden and concrete one storey houses dotted the sides of the roads. A bit like doll houses. There eateries were more like same restaurants rather than food courts or hawker centres like in Singapore.

This is when we reached the jetty! This is pearl! isn't she sweet! =D Smile sweetheart! HAHA . Me pinching my nose in the bg. AH CHOO. BUT its not H1N1. Its the aircon!

Ta dah! Bejaya Beach Resort. A bit outta the way but still ok! HAHA. Nice right! the architecture. Serene would love it. You yi kept snapping pictures like nobody's business.

These are more of the exterior of the resort.

The two pictures you see here on the right are those taken from the business centre.There really is a treasury of books.

The two pictures on the left were taken when we were deciding on a snokerling trip. Cause we didn't follow a tour. It was a free and easy trip. Thankfully Wilson was there to take care of us 7 girls. Arigatoo Gozamasu!

This is our hotel room. Really nice ya. HAHA. Hello Hui Fen! Dun peek at ppl taking bath la! The toliet had a bathtub and a shower, You see the furthest right picture. I slept in that bed. Close to the toliet. The windows can be opened at will. Tempted to open when they bathing. NO LA. Joking. I like guys.

Ok i gonna separate the day's event into another post! HAHA

The beach one!

treasure=D

2009-06-10T23:58:00.002+08:00

Past few days since Friday everyday was filled with a mixture of sadness and happiness.

Happy cause i got to pray to Buddha and although i wasn't really focused, i'm still happy i went. During the prayer i had headaches and some breadthing difficulties. Really wanted to go back to the hotel. HAHA. but i guess all these are obstacles. Training for the mind and faith.

Anyways feeling terrible about the what i saw. Saw a lot of suffering which i dun intend to rewrite it here. Because most people already noe what kind of suffering i 'm talking about. But seeing it first hand so near to you is something of a novel experience. Staying at P2 , near a residential area, you could really see the difference.

Dirty cramped and smelly alleys and run down dirty old buildings. Polluted brown water trickled down the streets and the smell of petroleum filled the air. Beggars dotted the streets and it seemed like it was part of their city landscape. The hotel seemed like a safety haven for me then. It was like looking at all the suffering at ur doorstep while sitting on a some comfory sofa.

There was a sense of helplessness and sadness that kinda consumed me those few days. I dreaded walking down the roads not because it was smelly or dirty, but cux of how bad living conditions could be. Guess its normal there but it doesn seem normal to me at all.

Beggars were seriously cripped.One even lied on the pavement near a highway. Half of this body wasn't even there. I guess it might be a syndicate or something cux like he couldn't have lied like that on the ground like that himself. Someone prob put him them to beg. He was dirty and unkempt. Holding a bowl up for people to drop some coins into it. I reckon the money doesn go to him but the syndicate that prob gives him only enough to survive. Just a mere existence for him to be used as a tool to garner sympathy so that people would give him some money. If he doesn get enough money he may be brutally beaten.

He also has parents and a family. People who care for him. He may be from a loving family. Maybe he was kidnapped and his poor parents cannot find him. Maybe they miss him. Maybe he was sold by his parents to the syndicate, There is just too many maybes.

I didn quite see him when i walked along the pavement. It was dark and the pavement was relatively narrow. Many people bypassed him. Some gave him some money, some tripped over him and just quickly walked off. It must have felt terrible to be ignored. No one bothers about your existence . Some pity you for that moment and then forget about you. Nevertheless he begs and there is the will to live on what i see as a meaningless life.

But life is precious isn't it. Water finds its own level just like every man finds his worth and place in life. Understands his contributions to the world.

I almost tripped on this beggar and i ran. It was a painful sight to see. I was silent for the rest of the journey.Either that or i didn't know what i was saying anyway.

The next day i went back to the same pavement, the beggar wasn't there anymore.

The rest of the days i saw more beggars. Mostly handicapped. Like the legs or hands weren't even there anymore. It was such a common sight it became distrubing.Children were begging. People were laying a thin sheet and selling cheap stuff.Some screaming their heads off, some on wheelchairs , some just looking dazed,

7.30pm- overhead bridge . A mother was carrying her child. asleep, looking sick. It was cold and windy. My dad gave my sister some money to donate.

11plus pm- roadside. We were shopping for clothes. But my mind wasn't really there. Saw that hey! the make shift roadside stalls at night was all located near lamposts and i remembered seeing all those dark roadside stalls on the way back to th hotel.I realised that they used

the light from the lamposts to light up their stalls! how clever, but also how poor they are.

Its been 2 days since i came back. The helplesssness is still there. Nagging at me. Dun really noe what i can offer. Its hard to just forget what i saw. Jin hao say vv fast forget de. Wun sad tt long. Wow. imgaine how short can one's emphaty be.its quite true.U can help that person once den forget him.feel saint for that moment. But u can't really make a difference i guess.. After the toil of exams comes on i prob really nt feel anything liao. ( Life goes on). Its sad to noe one will always be forgotton after a while.

Feel like so sad. Though its not my fault. Walked a lot this trip. Wanted to see for myself... see more. Not sit inside the taxi n see nothing. Save money n my family from traffic jam 2=P

study hard ba. So that a difference can be made=D

TT

2009-06-09T21:29:00.002+08:00

Back from Thailand religious trip. Many things running through my mind. Really a lot.

Knew many things that i might have rather not known. Affected my thinking a lot these days. As in not at this point of time. Woke up on the last day feeling really sore. I clutched my pendant on the plane as a form of comfort but i think i accidentally dropped it. Now i feel really sore. And my parents think i'm weird. I kinda think so too. Like even though i was very sad it wasn't an excuse for me to clutch the pendant and lose it. I 'm quite sure i put it in my bag. But its not there, Now i feel really bad. I didn't try to explain anything. Cux its really my fault. Now i really wanna sit in front my altar table and cry. Sometimes i'm struggling to find my worth in life.

I'm always making mistakes and i really do try to avoid them. But it seems the more i want to change for better i always screw up. Screwing up makes me a better person later on in life but the process is painful. This time would be a good lesson learnt. I needa be more focused.

COST!

2009-05-23T01:37:00.002+08:00

Today i had my cost paper. I skipped FACC HAHA. Well...

Been lost since week 3 of school. Can't focus. Skipped GEMS as well. Didn;t accompany Mayling to class. Felt really bad, but she was understanding. HAHA. Can keep her till she find BF den gotta let her go le. WAHAHA. Like jia nu er like tt. LOL.

Anyways since i decided to skip gems so i studied cost with Aini( love you!=D) , Nisa, Amirah and Sharifah at FC5. They're a bunch of really nice people. My class generally is. HAHA. So anyways was studying cost. But nothing went in. Thank god i put my heart n soul into doing tutorials. But i think its gone case. I studied only yesterday , on the train and during the 2 hr break. But i ended up sleeping in the quiet zone of the library. HAHA.

Think i really screwed this paper. I just finished it on time. We got to sit beside each other during the paper. How cool! Like its nt the norm ma. But also no time to cheat. No wonder they so nice let us sit beside each other. HAHA. not that i would if i had the chance la. Like so dui bu qi urself.

And i wanna say! I did my Cost tutorial on wed! AND i got all wrong!! SO SAD. HAHA.Wasted my time doing them=.=" Saw Jia yi on the train. Then saw Sam and Yuqi on the way to school. HAHA. Super funny. They also skipped FACC lecture. Today everyone tried to get clues from Popo. But he wudn give any. Class end quite early today.

Actualli i think this post is so meaningless. LOLS. I gonna watch absolute boyfreind! Cya again bloggy!

5 phrases=)

2009-05-18T02:04:00.002+08:00

Its really late now and i dun have much time left before i needa go to school. But still i wanna blog about something.

Move on.Remember. Treasure. Cherish and change for the better=)

Smiles!=D

refelction=D

2009-05-17T00:18:00.002+08:00

I want to blog about some stories.

On the MRT train, its always easy to see pregnant women, familes with young children, mothers carrying babies..

Each and every little child i see makes my heart fill with joy and peace. Seeing their parents showering children with love. Its interesting to see how parents educate their children. Some shower encouragement, some give hard facts, some are strict and firm. And then you see what kind of children they become.

I thought about it, its always to enocourage a child. Only then will he grow up with a happy and confident soul. A child's smile is ever so precious. Cox its never fake.

And here i see children well loved by parents , i think of the really poor kids in Siberia that i saw on History Channel. Many are orphans, often tortured by state institutions. Lack of food. Being a orphange not state run is considered fortunate...

And i really would like to take some time to appreciate my family. Treasure my parents who didn throw me away. My parents for trying their best...

Sometimes i hope i'll c my guardian angel somewher. Maybe in my dreams.. to tell me everythings gonna be ok. But look at the kids like that...

sometimes i wonder why..
why does a human being so innocent have to go through this. When life gets real tough will people support each other through or try to outlive each other.Can you really blame them. Will even close relatives be like that.

I hope i never come to this.

I learnt in this period that its easier to forgive someone than forgive yourself ... cux of the guilt...

Mistakes

2009-05-16T22:22:00.002+08:00

The past few days , i have been reflecting on my life and its changes. I made some mistakes along the way. Probobaly more than anyone else.

Above all i have changed a lot. Since Sec school to JC to poly.

Many of my friends felt choosing poly when i could have continued on in JC2 last yr , was a wasted choice. But i now i really think i made a good choice.

Time flies i've learnt a lot from SP. Mistakes made, friendships forged, frustrations in CSCC all made me a better person.

Throughout my SP poly life i somehow feel that i don't dare to face it when my friends are really nice to me.My class, my cca friends, sec sch frens, ... Its been a long time since i felt anything was real. And i really hurt a impt friend of mine cux of my insensitivity. So long since it mattered to anyone. Now when it really does ,i failed to see it.

These few days i thought: i was really sad when someone treated me that way in the past. It became such a habit. I didn feel anything anymore. And then i realised people and situations have changed.

So many things to realise.... true or false care for me? Where were they when i wanted them to be there. Was i expecting too much. Its nature to be selfish, that 's what people always say. But really beautiful r/s are not. It can happen. u just have to noe when.

Smiling through all the way in a conversation i had a a shop, a random lady asked me to let people noe what i am thinking. A bit magical.

I just didn c the point. I didn like pulling ppl in with my messy thoughts.

Every point in life is a learning spot. Theres always something new to learn. Pasts to let go, memories to cherish...

People in my life i will tresure even more now..=)

zhen shi de

2009-04-03T22:47:00.002+08:00

So many things have happened. I wish i could do something. I JUST dun wanna care. I just wanna be a normal 19 yr old. Going for camps n stuff. Can all this shit juz stop. I needa break. SOMEONE BUY me a KIT KAT!!. HAHHAHAHAHAA..

I am seriously PISSED.

I wish a gurdian angel would come down and help my family. N maybe another one to help me face my childish fears.

Lost and gone.

2009-03-18T00:05:00.003+08:00

I miss things as they were . I know this is never gonna come back.

The same thing that gave me hope shattered it.

Sometimes i feel a little sad that things have turned out the way it has.

Sometims i think of the times we spent together..

Was it just a dream?

Its just pointless already.

Now i really want someone to hold me tightly.

Is there really nothing that will nv stay the same.

Even somethin like this?

I really thought it was something beautiful

Now all that is left is memories and photos.

SMU's open house

2009-03-08T20:50:00.004+08:00

Today i went to SMU's open house with Eunice. hehe.Went to find out a lot about accountancy. It seems that the dream is coming back. SMU has a really broad based ciriculum and provided a holistic education. Located in the city and with a small n interactive class of 40-50 students, what's not to like about it?

But then... Class participation is realy important as well as brains.. i'm nt sure if i have even either 1. Can i really be a student there? LOLS. hahha. Well 2 years more to learn n grow in Poly.

I'll grab every opportunity to learn n grow. To express my views n be outspoken. ( No matter what CSCC has given be a chance to explore the outspoken part of me)-- i'm sure i can go farther. Jia you stef! Dare to dream n believe!

Weakness that i should change:

Be more self disciplined
Be more self driven
Always be optimistic
Treasure people around me more
Dare to love my dream.

Today i heard about how stressful Uni life can be. I'm really hoping i can go to Uni . Either NTU or SMU's school of accountancy. I have another dream besides being an accountant. But i have the time to dream...

I shall find out more during my 2 years more with SP.

Speech , occupational therapist and accountancy.. i'll see what's my calling. Finding out more during my breaks and stuff. haha.

Life can be beautiful if you have a goal, a dream.

It feels good to be young, to have the power to fly and dream.

I used to think as we grow older dreams get farther.Its true.. but now i believe it to a lesser extent.

Your dream is only as big as you think it is. Believe in your dreams and at least try b4 deciding what's the next best step=D

Until then i shall study real hard , get a good GPA.

WHY?

2009-03-08T00:03:00.002+08:00

Where is the dream ?
where is my drive ?
where is my identity ?
Where have i gone to?

Why am i so confused?
What is wrong with me?
Where is my focus?
Will someone understand me?

Why am i still so lost!!

Sometimes i cry
Sometimes i smile
Sometimes i get lost
Many times i can't find myself.
Maybe i think too much
But its necessary.

I believe in a better tomorrow.
Today i struggle for tomorrow's happiness.
Stephanie pls believe in yourself.

FO Pub! U r welcome to have a drink!

2009-03-06T21:27:00.003+08:00

today went to meet Xin yi to do Fo publication stuff. YES the quotations r all down and and the proposal done le! WEEE... YAY!!! Hang in there Publications~! We can do it. i hope i can survive the long long camp. I hope i will be happy throughout the camp. I wish i will not be forgotten. I wish i will be safe before/during/after nightwalk. I hope all these come true. Ok YAY! Pls make my wish come true. HAHAHHAHA LOL. tml gt training. lalala.

I miss..

2009-03-06T20:32:00.003+08:00

I miss CS events... I miss the whole CS going tgt like the past. I Miss the aspiration kids. I miss being a befriender( though i didn do vv well)i miss the children and elderly. I miss dancing with them.. i miss dancing like a fool and rushing the stuff. Giving speeches last minute. I miss volunteering. HAHA.Its ok! i'll find time to do them again! juz be happy n treasure the present!

O man.. But i'm tired. and i 'm really tired because i can't sleep well. Its frustrating. its my silly excuses. I really think those that can still help people even when they are really busy are people i really take my hat off to. HAha like the youth leader i read in Teenage.. haha..

AND GUESS WHAT! the ice cream man just left. O MAN! my potong ice cream. My childhood ice cream.... i wan potong red bean ice cream...

Outing with cheeze

2009-03-03T22:45:00.003+08:00

Today i went out with Cheese( Meng Xi). Talked about lotsa things. HAHA. wonder what will happen after we step down. Haha. Cheese thinks a lot like me=) HAHA. Good to have a good friend who thinks like me HAHHA. We went to take a card print. Is that what you call it?

And then we were both OMG! Dunno what to press then we anyhow press the buttons. HAHAHHA. Then we were there thinking about what posts to have. We put 3 dollars worth of coins and then we both OMG wad pose! den we went out of the booth to c pictures of people posing HAHAHA. LOLS. den the machine kp going: PLS MAKE UR SELECTION.

But we didn't care. LOLS. haha. den we didn't nnoe what to select and we ended up selecting dunno what. But guess what! the picture turned out really nice( Cux gt Cheeze n Aya--me)

Its a big teddy bear hugging both of us. its really kawaii!! It has both our names and we had it laminated.

After that we chatted till 7.20 b4 i went to meet another friend to sign up for Japan n Korean Hip hop dance at the RC. Cost me $65 for 10 sessions. Hope i'm nt so flexibility impaired. LOLS.

Thats all for now! i'll upload the pic when i have time WEEE...

1 litre of tears

2009-03-03T22:22:00.003+08:00

Only human

Kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
Hohoemi ga aru toiu yo
Kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
Hohoemi ga aru to iu yo
Tadori tsuku sono saki ni wa
Nani ga bokura wo matteru?
Nigeru tame ja naku yume ou tame ni
Tabi ni deta hazusa tooi natsu no ano hi
Ashita sae mieta nara tame iki mo nai kedo
Nagare ni sakarau fune no you niIma wa mae he susume
Kurushimi no tsukita basho ni
Shiawase ga matsu toiu yo
Boku wa mada sagashite iru
Kisetsu hazure no himawari
Kobushi nigirishime asahi wo mateba
Akai tsume ato ni namida kirari ochiru
Kodoku ni mo nareta nara
Tsuki akari tayori ni
Hane naki tsubasa de tobi tatou
Motto mae he susume
Amagumo ga kireta nara
Nureta michi kagayaku
Yami dake ga oshiete kureru
Tsuyoi tsuyoi hikari
Tsuyoku mae he susume

Its a really beautiful song.

In English it means

On the other side of sadness, it is said that there is a smile
Before that arrives, what is waiting for us?
It’s not that I’m trying to run awayit’s to chase after my dreams
I’m supposed to have left on a journey that faraway summer day
If I could even see tomorrow
I wouldn’t sigh
Going against the flow like a boat
Right now, I am heading toward the past
In a place where pain ran out,it is said that happiness awaits
I’m still searchinga sunflower out of season
My fists grasp tightly
If I wait for the morning sunafter red fingernailstears fall
If I grew accustomed even to isolation
Relying on moonlight
I’ll fly away with wings lacking a shuttlecockmore, I’m heading toward the past
If a rain cloud burstedthe wet road shines
It only teaches me darknessstrong, strong lightstrongly, I’m heading toward the past ( got it from
(http://fantasii-lyrics.blogspot.com/2006/10/k-only-human.html) =D

So sad yet so nice. Aya is such a strong girl. Its hard to be like her. Spinocerebellar Atrophy is such a cruel disease and kills slowly and painfully. Worse of all it doesn't affect the mind at all. Its a real cruel disease.
Sometimes the human sprit can be so strong.

The show 1 litre of tears is really sad but the saddest thing is that is based on a true story of 15 yr old Aya...a time where dreams r budding..

Aya has taught me much-- treasure every moment in life. As a 18 yr old sometimes i always think i have absolutely lotsa time but in fact everyday should be lived to the fullest. Sometimes i put off important things to me. Cux i dun dare or too lazy or i think i still have time.
Sometimes we shoukd stop in our tracks and see what is really important to us.=D

Volunteerisim and me.

2009-02-26T20:59:00.004+08:00

I decided to blog on something i've been thinking about. Every time someone volunteers is it because he really wants to help the person or he wants something out of helping? Doesn't have to be in monetary terms but in terms of praise or companionship or the good feeling about oneself when helping someone. I saw something written like that by the chairperson of some charity and i thought.. ya.. am i someone who helped because i wanted something outta it? I don't really dare to search for the answer because i fear of what it might be.

I never thought much about it but just as a part of self reflection i thought about it for a moment and i really think it was part of feeling good cux i have the ability to help someone. That was before i joined CS CSCC. After going through events with my fellow CSians i realised that its more for the helping the person to feel happy and loved by people around them. Doing CS events with like minded people made me see just how wholeheartedly they gave to the people around them. Its just a miracle how i met these people.From doing these events with them and seeing their passion especially Julia's(when i read her blog) showed me we don't help just to make ourselves feel better( theres nothing wrong with that) but we also help to make others feel good about themself. Its the genuine sincerity in all of it.

I won't i 'm selfless when it comes to helping people. It gives me the joy in making me feel loved n useful when they smile.=D But now i noe helping isn't just about this its so much more. Its not just the " O ya i make them feel happy so i am happy feeling" Its the i really make them feel happy and I FEEL their joy. I finally understoodf the true meaning of volunteering. Well.. at least a progress la. hehe.

I went to borrow a book and social work and WOW. there are many types of social workers like criminal justice, occupational( deal with famil problems), Gerontology( advise about housing and long term care for elderly n caregivers)...

And the most important thing is intregrity.its not easy being a social worker. You need courage to stand up for someone's rights even if you have to take the stand alone or if its against the odds. Its a really meaningful job.

Like there was this school social worker she had to call the parents of a child suspected of child abuse but she sat on it because it was difficult to make the call. Later on she made the call and found out that the mother was a nice person unlikely to cause harm to the child until one day the injuries on the child became so bad that it was a clear sign of abuse. She immediately made the call and did what was correct even though it was hard to testify against the mother and stuff like that. She said: I could have stopped it earlier but i didn't..Well finally she did.

This reminded me of my FO quotation calling. I hated making calls to the suppliers who i could gt vv pek chek with. Something so fast can settle so long HAVEN settle. Gets on my nerves. calling time and again. Sometimes i preferred to sit on it. Calling 3 suppliers was not something i liked to do=.=" But then ya. u stil have to do it. Its something called responsibility. LOLS. anyways. it reminded me calling n facing something u noe is right bt nt pleasant can be difficult. It would be so much easier to say ALL the supplier nv answer. Ask sean do everything or quit. But no. we should do what is the best for all. Ya.

In all, sometimes busy helping others i neglect the family members around me who seem to need some kind of help now. With their own issues and feelings. Something i did not notice because it doesn't really show. But actually our family needs our love and help the most. They should always come first because that's what family means.

I love my family, but sometimes i neglect them. Sometimes i am too tired or i'm irritated at he stuff my sister tells me... always abt boys... ( well i'm nt tt into guys. i just want a good decent one to love me-- and that is fate=D) or angry at my dad maybe even hurt by him sometimes . Still i love my family. Because they love me too. I am selfish i dunno if i can love them they they don't love me( Like some people's parents) Then again all parents love their children( Let's nt include sadistic people).

I should help in the housework. Seriously. i hate them and i am trying not to sulk while doing them. Still trying. I always smile while doing them bt i am SULKIN like mad inside. ( Which is why i am either gonna be a CAREER woman or a tai tai -- then i would go be social worker or kindergarden teacher NEVER a housewife) that would KILL my soul.

I should listen to my sister more attentively. Accompany her when i can. Help my family members first. Protect them with all my heart and trust in them. Always believe that whatever shortcoming that can be overlooked are accepted and those that are too horredous areaccepted as they are and try to change them, never once giving up( My sister long case).

I am sorry daddy and mummy.. i will be a better person from now on. I wil try.

To my CS family thank u n love u guys.=D

Last goodbye

2009-02-20T21:05:00.002+08:00

The year has offically come to an end with the ending of my last paper stats. After that we went to Seoul Garden for class outing! HAHA. Wanted to get Tiffany something but no time~~ our DAC Vice chair. Always comfortable and fun to sit on! Anyways i was quiet during the outing. Dunce realli have that realli happy after exam feeling . I left the outing earlier to go meet my friend

I can finally blog!! Went SAA to find David to get the quotations but it has not come down yet. AWWWWW HAVE to go again. HAHAHA. O well... Thanks Daph and Lee Jun Xian for doing publications with me. And Of cux Oh Xin Yi( My I/C) . Really great having u all to guide me and pei me pek chek HAHAHAHAHA. LOLLOLOL. Today My hamster Ah boy , passed away

For the past 2 and a half years you have been a great hamster to me. While you were here i didn't know how to treasure you, but i really dotted on you. As my days were filled with work and studies and many other stresses i always looked at you through your opaque purple cage, always saying i'd carry you later.Later and i am still busy...

Ur frail and small body made me dun dare to touch you. Now u are really gone and i still dun dare to touch you. I feel like crying but i cannot. if not what wil mum and dad think. Tears r welling up in my eyes. Keeping pets really helps you cope with something lost...

Maybe i'l touch your head one last time ah boy.. i dunno if i have the courage too.. but its the last time...

Last goodbye.. and may peace be with you. Miss you.

can you see my effort.. please.

2009-01-11T20:35:00.002+08:00

I really tried to be the best daughter i know how but i know i failed terribily.. i dunno what to say. Maybe my actions don't reflect my intentions...i'm not sure.. but i really tried but it seems it doesn't meet your standards.

The blanket is not folded nice enough or dunno what.. haix.. i dunno wad i did wrong. Asking a simple question makes u irritated.Trying my best to be someone u can rely on...

Guess the recession is putting pressure on dad and mum that almost everything i do displeases them.

Kinda feel bad that at this age... i dun think i am of any help.. still bad at housework n cooking..n not workin..results aren't g8 either.

Feels horrible.... no matter how i try i'll always not meet ur standards of a good daughter.

then i can only try harder...

I should try harder

2009-01-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

I'll do a little update on my life for now=)

Dad lost his temper again as usual. Seems like a pretty bad flu and spending on $200 on medical bills today made him cranked up. I didn;t answer to the hurting comments he said abt me n dear CSCC but then i know he's really stressd. O man! i shd realy study hard n not make him worry so much! I guess i have to try to accomodate more! I mean i have a different sequence n way of doing stuff, but daddy just won't accept my explainations and insist on his own view of my actions though i explain my intentions to him. He just believes i'm tt lousy or bad.. haix... and sometimes never even give me the chance to prove otherwise.

Sometimes it feels like ur confidence has been given a rude shake. No more words left to say.
I'll try to be better !!

I used to think that my dad didn't support me with whatever i want do. Well at least sincerely. Most of the time it was degratory comments or " I don't think you can".

I don't wish to elaborate but i doubt my dad ever really listens to what i tell him. In the end its useless to try to explain your actions. Maybe what i do doesn't seem mainstream but well it is to me. HAHA.

Sometimes i wish he would really sit down n maybe just encourage me with al his heart instead of always doubting my abilities. i have many aspirations and drive to do something but usually i dare not bring it up to him.

I'm usually more likely to tell my mummy.But sometimes i dun either. HAHA. I shd learn to let my views be known to them without angering them or huring their feelings~~

I shall find a way~! Soon! WEE~~~~~~

Journey to self discovery.

2009-01-04T21:42:00.003+08:00

Its really fast! 2008 gone in a flash~! It was a super great year with ups and downs. Today i learnt many things. New ideas in this new year. New dreams new realizations?

Recently i have been asking myself what i want in life? What was i working for? Did what i did to in my CCA really help people become happier even for a while? Was it a short term gratifaction that i wanted or did i wanted to be part of their life? What did i want to do at home? Am i really a good daughter and grand daughter? Am i even a good person?

Am i the person who i really want to be? When i look in the mirror is it ME? Is this ME who i want to be?

Something in me told me there was something in my life i wanted to change.
During the last few days of 2008 i have been trying to find out what. This left me often deep in thought. The last few days were rather tiring for me. Though i did nothing i just felt really tired.
I couldn't focus on anything i did. It was terrible. Everytime someone talked to me nothing much made sense and i preferred to stay quiet.Kinda was in a dream like daze. I supposed Tiffany noticed and my sec sch friends too.

Today it seems to have gotton better.
After some thought, i realised that when i looked into the mirror i wanted to see someone worthwhile. I'll have to think through what i really want in life. Like where i'm heading. I realise i'm just different. I just can't accept the fact to just appreciate everyday of my life. I need to find my purpose and appreciate everything along the way to self discovery. This is just the way i am and i realised DENYING that would just kill me for who I AM.

I want to walk through life knowing i had made a difference. A small one to people who i really care for.. for people at large. I want to at least have an idea its ME i want to see in the mirror and i want to find out WHO is ME.

Its time for a change. To find more confidence in myself. To smile n believe the person i see in the mirror.

And i realised to be ME i have to first believe in me.

TIRED AHHHH

2008-12-25T23:45:00.002+08:00

Have been really really tired these few days plus the fequency i wake up in the middle of the night renders me unable to concentrate in what i do. HAHA.

Today i went to grandma's house and iwas really tired! and i was sore about it cux my uncle came and i was too tired to talk much. Really wanted to tell him more about my life. HAHA however it was really g8 to see him and his two children with his wife such a happy family.

Man i'm seriously tired. Talk to u nxt time. HAHA

Is there something i can do?

2008-12-18T01:47:00.002+08:00

I wish i could do something to take the pain in your eyes.
All i can do is sit here quietly and watch
Though i can't find the right words to say
i am always here for you.

Aspiration camp 09/10

2008-12-15T02:15:00.003+08:00

Introduction
Aspiration camp 08 is over but the experiences gained and priceless memories will always be with me.
Everyone of the OCs put in much effort. thanks 4 EVERYTHING man!! it means so much to campers n families. thanks 4 makin it happen.

Prep camp
The day i left for camp, mum was quite ill but she understood the importance and meaning of this camp to me. I really wanna thank her for understanding here. BTW everyone who reads this post. PLEASE PLEASE take care of ur health cux when u fall seriously ill people who love u suffer the pain of seeing u suffer.=)
When camp started i was really excited. Afterall i had choosen to be a befriender in charge on my own accord and i had this desire to be in Aspiration camp O.Cf rom day one of CS meeting. Because of the purpose and meaning of this camp. A short 3 days and 2 nights camp. To give people with diown syndrome some hope , fun and laughter. And of cause a very happy chirstmas.

Purple group
As a befriender IC, i had to take a group of befrinders and campers with me. I wqas assigned purple group. I LOVE my group. Though i duno wad they think of me as their befriender IC , still they were a grp of marvellous people. Really fun and i am glad to be able to work with them. My group members are: Benjamin( befriender), Zi Xuan( camper), Sean, Tsai Ting( Befrienders), Kim Hong( Camper) , Wei Chuan, Kelvin sometimes Aaron( Free GP tt always flirt ard with mi grp girls. WAHAHA).( Befrienders),Sammuel( Camper). Jin Ru Johnson( Befrienders), Shu Yi( Camper). Mei Xian, Willie( Befriender), Wei Kian( Camper)

To Purple group if u guys ever see it.. which i dunno hw. LOL. thanks for being a fun grp. Without u guys, the camp would not be possible.No one would be there to take care of the campers. Maybe u guys dun realise it but the camp means more to them and their families than to you. Do keep the beautiful memories with u=) Stay bonded with each other and dun forget ur campers. And last bt nt least ur cute n sweet befrinder IC okays!

Day 1
Everyone looked vey tired and sian. Even frustrated with their campers. Most befrienders in my group didn't rly talk to their campers. Everyone felt the trip to discovery centre very boring.Keep thinking of sleep. Day 1 me: Blur blur de. Bt end up everything is ok de~!
Feelings: I have talked to the campers but they dun rly respond. I was a bit worried that they would not participate in the events.

Day 2
Day 2 everyone made a great improvement. Effort was seen in trying to interact with them. The campers were more willing to respond and participate. The improvement was heart warming. probobaly it was cux they were more familiar with us on day 2. Every time they made some effort to participate and smile. I really felt a sense of happiness that cannot be described. Giving happiness to someone who needs just a bit more love and understanding is something that so speical. Because its nt abt u. Its a different joy than from say scoring full marks for an exam. From the camp i saw their smiles and it really made my day.

Day3
Everyone was extremely tired and looking forward to break camp. We really had fun!. Zixuan asked me why the camp was going to end so soon. Wei Kian and Zixuan's eyes were so tired ! But they said: I can still play! Zi Xuan even went around to write nams of befrienders because he wanted to remeber us. I really miss them.
Pool games were fun! Benjamin had to handle 3 campers for a while!! sorri wor. we had 2 games but i really saw that they enjoyed dancing in the pool. The Befrinders danced along too. O my thanks to all for that activity Gd job man! though it was a last minute change of game. he Mood was high high high! I also gt play a bit, Splash water at mi befrienders. I MISS swimming!!aww...

Breakcamp

Before that the closing ceremony made me wanna cry but i DIDN't! YES. i managed to control.But the next morning... i felt a bit lost without having to call for purple grp. haha=)There was this feeling of missing them. But now that i blog about it, i'm glad the camp happened and i was part of it. =))No more missing.. just wishing that someday when i see them again, they will be happier and achive more in life.

To campers

Zi Xuan: U are a very sensible man!Always listen to instructions most of the time. Always like to talk to you. Cux u like everyone will miss everyone and everything is fun to you. Really or not.?!Dun bluff me ah. U say u wun forget anione der. When u came back to hug Benjamin kor kor. I really am touched. Kor kor gd to u right. The special bond btw u 2 is wad no one can understand .Treasure each other n this 3 days 2 nights!~

Wei Kian: HAHA. Wei Kian! Leader of everything ya? Most responsive and like to sing and dance. I can see the potenitial in you just like Willie kor kor and Mei Xian Jie jie said in ur card. Must continue to work hard. Always helping me call: PURPLE GROUP. HAHA. Always love hearing u talk about school and ur idols. i'm glad u enjoyed everything.

Shu Yi: HAHA. Shu Yi u vv talented ya? can read and write very well! But u must participate more ok! Listen to Jin Ru jie jie=). Dun ignore her. And when ur Johnson kor kor sleep again.. just pour water on him or kick him ask him wake up k WAHHAA.

Sammuel: HAHA! Sammuel! U dun really talk but u r challenging man ! Always touch touch. Cannot ah! Can see u like kelvin kor kor to carry u. Though u never respond at anything or listen to anything but i ee ur face n i can see u like to bully ur poor Wei Chun kor kor. But u like him a lot right! HAHA. Muz nt forget each other wor!

Kim Hong: HAHA!! Kim hong!! Cun't always anihw touch sean kor kor kk. Though u only respond to Sleep and Food, But when we hold ur hand at least u still play the activities=). Dun scared of us k. Day 3 performace Sean n Tsai ting saw u dance for the 1st time. Everyone of us was so touched man!! Dunno wad to say dear~!Hope u enjoyed.

Last but not least..
I never wanna forget anyone. This pOst will always be close to my heart. Love u guys!

=)

2008-11-21T20:28:00.002+08:00

And i think i am such a lucky girl. Because of everything that ever happened to me.
I have such wonderful people around me. All my friends, my family has always been there for me. I get to study something i like. I have a dream. Maybe i would take secretarial course to upgrade my skills=). So many things in life for me to treasure. To smile about. Finally my sore throat is getting better and so is my cough. And then i feel sO lucky because when i am sick my mummy will nag at me to sleep more and eat grass jelly. At the dinner table my dad was always giving me a long talk on his experience in life.Talked about the economy. Really hope it recovers soon. Its so bad... Pls gt well soon economy. If not many people will suffer. And inflation pls go down, so that the size of my chicken chop can go up. And my ice milo...
I'm such a lucky girl!!

Go Stef go go go!! O and the t shirt design haven think yet. LOLS.

Study hard!!!

Minds camp!

2008-11-19T00:33:00.002+08:00

These few days i have been pondering on many issues. Many things that made me unhappy and stuff.And also the many things that made me super happy.

Many things in life to cherish but i realise to really cherish what you have is a priceless skill. It is always easy to say that you cherish something and for that few moments you really do. After that ,to be able to treasure what you really have is something very difficult to achieve.

I can say i haven't acquired that skill. That night while everyone was asleep i kept awake throughout the MINDS camp. Thinking of many things. Recalling the day's events, i was really glad i went for the camp though i was tired haha. Because its just so hard to put across what i feel now. HAHAHA.

But all i can say is that i really saw how much the camp meant to them. Disco night, they really did dance. And The campers from Katong special school even suggested how we should dance. The campers from spastic school really did participate in the campfire even though i could tell it was hard for them to move around. And the student who was dressed up by us... you shd have seen his enthusiasim. It was so hard for him to move about with the walker. Still he did it with pride and a smile. And a smile..

It really did touch me. Life had so little for them. It had many obstacles though. In spite of that, they smiled through difficulties, played the games with a smile even though i saw for myself, it was hard for the to complete the simple games.

Liefu, a camper drew me a picture of a flying man. HAHA . erm.. dun really noe wad is that but still i have it with me. HAHA. In my purple CSS file. He sad he dunno wher his sister went to and his grandparents were having some kind of medical problems. He took pride in being able to take care of them .

It was heart warming to hear such a comment. He really cared for his family. Something sometimes i don't even show to my family members. =)

HAHA. So many thoughts to write but realli tired. and hard to express. nvm i shall kp it in my head. HAHA

IMH replied but i haven replied them. Shoukld be going to reply them soon. HAHA. =X LOLS. haha. what a pleasant surprise after so long... =)

Today

2008-11-04T23:59:00.004+08:00

I realised. That. I was feeling down. So actualli. Nothing to do with my poly frens. Maybe it was a case of wrong time wrong place luh. Today stil the same. But i didn't feel anitink i left over the past few days. Forgive me if i gt over emotional at times. I dun intend it. Maybe its hormonal. HAHHA.Or wrong time. But after tt, it juz doesn bother me animore.

DUn feel down animore. CUX TODAY HAVE CS MEETING! I gt to see my dear CS frens. And of cux. Ppl frm other coms. =D. Many scandals in CSCC.Its such a magical CCA. So many couples. HAHA. Its like a TV series. See so many couples meeting in one place. Like mass couple meeting.HAHAHA. reminds me of the Jing tian ni yao jia gei wo song. is it? ah.. dunno the tittle la.

Nothing much to update. Excpet theres so many thngs to do! JIA YOU everyone!!

gan xiang

2008-11-02T23:49:00.003+08:00

HELLO BLOG!! Woke up at 5am today and had stomach ache. Mainly i have been shuttling in and out of the toliet and then ploking like 56kg of MEAT on the bed. Suddenly i feel fat. HAHHAHA.. because mum reminded me again. HAHAHAA. AWWWWW.... shd start exercising=D Good for the sprit and mind too. yep yep.

Been feeling horrid for the most of today.After waking up from the afternoon nap started to feel nauseous and giddy.Didn't eat much for the day and felt bloated. It's always terrible to fall sick. Nothing gets accomplished. Like i completed only my Econs tutorial up til now. But i did clear some accounts concepts.

Thought about a lotsa things the past few days. I think i need to improve myself. I lack too many things. Need to improve so much! Wow! tts goin to be a long process. I think i shd like read the papers and study hard and put 100% in all events...n PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS. Yep yep.

Finally Miss Huda responded via SMS. She had been busy the past few days. i think she must have been SUPER busy. WOW. a camp involves so much...

Next week schdule is packed to the fullest. HAHA. Tue- Asp meeting, Wed- FO, Thurs- CSCC day OC meeting. Fri- Gina's event. Sat n Sun - Befriender Workshop.I'm juz so glad its packed with club stuff. Cux i enjoy it a lot!! The motivation to study seems even greater now. After all that soul searching. I can do it~!

I cn't exactly rmb why i wasn't too happi a few hours back. HAHHAA. STM is gd sometimes.

AND OF CUX.. My dear Mayling's event.

As secretary of flag day. Giving out indemnity forms and collecting them. Duno why i stil like to do tt. Become my habit le. Didn't do flagday cux had befriender's meeting.
Mayling u did well! Dun worry kaes!! Its over and u realli did think a lot of how to make this event a success. Though i wasn't really there for the whole thing but i saw ur effort. =D

Special thanks to all flag day O.Cs: My dear Mayling,Alan,and the 2 Jun xians! HAHA.

Didn't go for Lee Jun xian's Realm of tranquility tOday, Sorry Ooo~! Hope it was reali fun. HAHA kek Bing say u guys gt conned into raising funds instead of doing admin work. HAHA nevertheless u guys did make a difference ~! Hopefully the money goes wher its supposed to!!

I LOVE CS SUB 28th SUB com! HAHAHA.

Tired bt happy day=D

2008-10-30T21:58:00.002+08:00

HELLO BLOG! YOU ARE NOT ROTTING!. I love you as much as ever.=D

Today very tired. HAHA went to school. HAHA n i realised mi poly frens also quite siao de. Maybe i more siao so i didn't notice they also nt normal de. MEANS I CAN BE MORE SIAO! WOOOO. Left school at 6 plus. Jia Yi went to club to meet Kuo Qiang abt the video. I didn't go. Cux if i'm nt needed den i go hme rest=D~~! WAHAHAHAA.

I STILL LOVE CS OK. Juz tt wanna go hme to sit there n SLACK. LOLS.

MINDS camp is so going to be fun=D. Miss Huda, the in charge is a really nice lady. When i talk to her like talking to a friend. =D very honest with all opinions. Nxt week will have to have a meeting with the TGS teachers about the camp=D HAHA.

going to update Julia soon.And the rest too=D hehex..After i slack a while.

I so love CS events. You just gt to c so much. Whenever u feel tired juz rmb of the smiles on the old folks at LKH and KWS. ESP the students at TGS. HAHA. everytink feels worth it. Its juz so magical. Because their smiles aren't fake.Its all so innocent and real. And you made it happen.
Its so priceless. HAHA,I also dunno hw to sae. Besides doing events with 28th Sub com has been realli g8! Everyone is juz so into it. I realli enjoy being in all the events as O.Cs or participants. =D writing minutes !! INDEMNITY FORMS. I handed them up to David today at SAA. Was a bit nervous after what Julia told us abt him.HAHAHA.

I think i wud cry on mi last day as 28th sub com member. HAHA. LOLS. I SO LOVE OUR SUB COM=D HAHA. Shalalalala.

Dance!

2008-10-08T23:03:00.002+08:00

HAHAH. today i overslept!! Realli tired.. also dunno why.. bt nw i am alert cux tml gt MINDS. I cn forget the tireness le WOOHOO. HAHA. anyways today's dance practice nt as high as last prac. Still it was FUN FUN FUN! We stil aren't shaking much. Bt we'll do our best. Chairperson( Chorchuan) Shake vv well though . Shake shake shake! HAHAHAHA. LOLS .

Today we had our Night Safari debriefing. Many many things to take note of.Many things to improve on. Haha. Wrote them down the next time round we wun make the same mistakes.
I feel like doing an event with IMH.I dunno why i wan to do tt so much. I think i shd do more to help them. Like cux nt many ppl will think of doing anitink for them... Send so many e-mails n none replied. haha. sad sia!. Jia yi send they reply. What is this! HAHA. NVM I USE CALL . HAHA. WOOHOO. gd lucks to me.But i'll do that like when ah? Ah yo tml also gt event. 9.10.11 gt MINDS. 12 gg to help out at dunno wher. HAHAHHAA.But juz like to help.Nvm.. other time bahs. HAHA

U noe wad! i have the honor of planning this time's CS outing with Gina. Vv happy. Cux this time round gt 2 ppl's BD. FUN SIA. Sometink special. NICE! i love tt. Dunno wad surprise we gg to plan. I look like a zombie today. HAHA. i tink so. HAHA. Tt thing come ;first day. Make me more tired.Hoho! HAHa ah yo. bt heng la. nt when sch reopen. Muz look on the bright side of life! O man means Movie marathon a bit mafan. HAHHA. HOPE I DUN DIRTY MORBELY. O MY!

For dinner we had CUP NOODLES!! We had plans.. like put thermoflask in the clubroom. WAHAHAH,,, Cup noodles gonna be our Sub com de tradition de. HAHA.LOLS... Tired bt happi. HAHA.

Night Safari and MINDS dance.

2008-10-05T23:24:00.005+08:00

tOday i slept like a pig. HAHA serious!! Wake up look at GEMS courses, eat lunch den SLEEP again. haha. Feel really tired. But happy. Yesterday i went to school for MINDS dance practice. I really really think it was fun! Met up with Daph and kek bing b4 going in. Daph and i had CUP NOODLES!! WOOHOO! We love cup noodles. Taste really nice. Though it aren't very good to keep eating them. =D haha..

Next dance practice i told myself i am going to move more because that would make the children at MINDS happier. Rather than c a stone. Yep Yep! MOVE MORE. HAHA.. I can do it! Every single day spent at CSCC i really appreciated it. And the opportunity to do events with such a nice team of people.

Anyway. This post i would like to remember my thoughts about Night Safari. Both as OC and as befriender. HAHA. Actualli it was a bit luan juggling 2 posts. HAHA. Bt i scraped thru. I guess? HAHHA. Keeping my eyes on the participants as well as on the child that i was talking to. I followed the children Jia Yi and Jane were attached to. Haha. The two children were Michelle and Sammantha.

I would say they have really different personalities. Talking to them made me smile. Michelle was more talkative and rather mischivious. (laughs). Her responses to my questions were rather naughty in a way. I asked her lots of questions on the tram ride cux she was nearer to me than i was to Sammantha. Michelle wasn't very happy cux she said her mum scolded her that day. And she pouted. =D But i could tell she enjoyed the trip and that brought me GREAT JOY! Becux i am able to bring joy to someone. To see someone smile.. ok.. maybe i didn do much.. but still i really loved to c her smile and hear her mischivious comments like: Go swim in the river n let the crcodile eat u ah. I dun care! Or the lions eat u le i also dun care. Sometimes i dunno wad to reply u. HAHAHAA. Wait realli eat le u miss me ar Michelle! HAHA. Miss u lots. Didn get to write u anything dear girl~ wasn't ur attached caregiver( dunno hw to express). Laughs..
To Michelle girl: Ur little responses make me laugh eh. U r so lively and have many thoughts running through ur mind every time! I rmb when u were on the Tram u made us laugh cux u didn't wan to turn back n talk to G HAHA. And a few other ppl at the back. All the best in whatever you do ok Michelle!

Sammtha is quieter. I seriously hoped she enjoyed the trip. =D cux she always said she was cold and tired. She's really a sweet girl. I asked her: Can i hold ur hand and she held my hand.Den Jia Yi hold one side i hold the other. i gt the papa mama Feeling. LOLS. OMG! SWEET RIGHT!! I asked her many things. She likes elephants. And Penguins!! She went to the Bird park and the Zoo.She doesn't like Orang Utans . ( which reminds me of Seto's Dp) LOLS.It was her first time to the Night Safari. She didn't like it very much. Because she's was afraid of the dark. Lucky Jia Yi was there to hold her hand on the Tram ride. She make me wanna protect her. Cux she looked SUPER tired and cold. I afraid she wud be unwell. I guess i have MATERNAL instincts at times. LOLS. JK!
One moment i felt heart warming was when she hugged her mother.She said: mummy i love you. That's like so sweet !!I haven hugged my mum in a long time. I feel like hugging her.
Sammantha dear girl, Though i didn't have a chance to write anything to you. And u wud nv c this but i am very happy to have spent the night with you. I hope you r feeling alright. And i hope u enjoy the trip. I really love to c ur sweet smile. Esp whenever i ask u sometink we wud alwasy smile=D u make me feel blessed to have a chance to give u sometink. I hope that in the future you will do well in whatever you choose to. Dunno if i cn c u again dear. HAHA. Anyways all the best!

Night Safari was a really eye opening experience for me. I saw the individual in every child with down syndrome. Yes. We shdn categorize them cux its nt fair. Like we dun like to be labelled Goth or Punk or Prep. I got to know them a bit better. Still if they are too mischivious i might not know how to handle them.Like if they r too strong. Its a learning experience for me.

CS made me c. Life isn't all abt u onli. Everything we do. We always do for ourselves. Always me me me. We always complain abt this nt fair tt nt fair. Everytink also nt fair. bt den life even more nt fair to others ah! Like me i always complain. Complain complain. Ya la. Sure there r times i cannot cope. I dunno what to do when issues at hme start popping up..Sometimes dunno hw to deal with the feelings .But there r people wo are in more dire straits than me. For that reason. I muz stay strong. Stop complaining and help more.

I wanna write mi tots abt LKH too.. It was realli sometink i have to say to mi bloggy. Theres so much to say!

Throughout this holiday i really love helping out. Finally i am not doin CS alone like in Secondary school. When i went to find on mi own, go myself and navigate ard the home miself. I finally gt to do what i alwasy wan to do WITH like minded friends and a team of VERY nice and encouraging CS sub com.Headed by 2 realli nice people. Julia and Si Hao. I really Love CS! Thank you for everything u have offered me!

chum chum feelings=D=C

2008-10-02T14:08:00.006+08:00

I think the past few days left me really tired BUT VERY VERY happy. I finished my 3rd minutes yesterday before 12am! still i am taking very long to complete my minutes.I shall have to work faster=D haha.

CS is like a family to me=D i LOVE CS!

And i love being the secretary though i take very long to type minutes... ehs... i will be more efficient the next time!

Still have Night Safari event, Caregivers and MINDS event.

SPCA was cancelled and i felt the pinch too. cux everyone was looking forward to it. I wouldn be able to understand it fully since this event is not my baby. But nonetheless quite sad....

Today left early to go attned personal family matters.Didn't write the minutes today. HAHA so guilty! Gina is helping me for this. Thanks a lot!

Secretary!!!

2008-09-26T01:00:00.003+08:00

Juz came back frm today's outing! Haha. Today meeting Julia got change OCs. Super happy she give me secretary for 3 events. When she say she changing OC i down there praying i will get secretary sia.Despo right. Wad to do i Also gt advertise miself to CS sub com NEED SECRETARY PLS ASK ME!!Juz did that ytd in the mass cov today i gt liao. THANKS!!Muz really thank Lord Buddha too!!!!! desprate.Thanks thanks!!! i super happy.SUPER happy i hope no changes le. HAHA... ehs...THANK U!! I promise i will do my best de!!! Tml gt time i go SP print indemity form.If i can folk out the time tml after i go do stuff. I am touched to tears man!! Thanks Julia 4 giving me the opportunity i will make full use de!!Wun blur de!! Cry le...

Confessions

2008-09-24T23:41:00.002+08:00

Sat gt a date. HAHAHHAHHA.I DUN feel like GOING LEH. STRESS SIA> SEE I TOLD U LE> love ppl need courage de, I tink i cannot take it sia. HAHAHHA. CAN I BACK OUT NOW...i dun wan to go le.......heng he duno mi blog cn still write mi gan xiang.i wanna cry...i still no feel leh. I realli void of feeling le maybe. HAHAHA. OMG... HAHHAA.

I reject so many times le eh... finally say ok but i feel like givin some rubbish excuse. HAHAH.....

i think i forever single de HAHA. HEY! lets go buy singles cheese. Can put bread eat.

Confession

4th guy i reject this yr i'm sorry....
Hope i didn break ur heart that badly.
No feeling
I dun wanna lie to you.
Hope u find ur dream girl
I'm sorry!!!!!
I realli hate to do this...

Guilty ..... like Gina's shirt say de. LOLS.

Erm..

2008-09-24T22:59:00.003+08:00

And i realise it takes a lot of courage to love someone.

Because you dun wan to hurt that person

Because you want the person to know and remember that u treasure them every moment of ur waking live(maybe even when u r asleep)

Because you think you dun love them enough

Because you think they deserve better

Because you tink someone might love them better than you do.

Because you are afriad they may leave you one day

Because you are afraid this moment will become a thing of the past

Because it is too important to you maybe u are afraid to face it.

Takes a lot of courage. But den be a leader. Have initiative. trust urself and love those u love you. SHOUT LIKE THUNDER move like lighting lor. HAHA

Treasure what you have trust u can give the best love ever. Maybe someone else can do it better but who cares? What he wants is ur best. Because u r special to him and dun doubt urself and lose this place. Courage to love and confidence in urself is what makes u beautiful to ur partner. Trust( which lacked like siao in mi family in the past) is paramount in a relationship. trust even though u might be cheated. When u realise it than at least u trust like siao b4. Smile because u had to chance to find someone u were willing trust.Cry den move on. Trust smarter the nxt time.

SMILE!!! say cheese.

MINUS 10 MINUS 20 MINUS 30! OMG MI LEG HURTS! HAHHA

BDS!

2008-09-24T22:23:00.003+08:00

tOday is my mum's chinese BD and mi Dad's ang moh BD. HAHA. So i said it. i love you. Haven said tt in yrs. Like I realised how far we have been from each other emotionally...all these years. Maybe they shd have LTC for parents n children too...or connection camp. HAHHAA. Over the years as their daughter... i realised how little i have known my parents. How many misunderstandings or even how un wanted i felt at times. maybe i think too much? I dunnO. Maybe i was in the past but NOW i noe mi parents love me. MAybe i proved that i can be loved . HAHAHA... I dunno all these years what my parents are thinking. Whether they loved this family. Maybe they did and never show. But NOW i noe they do.

Looking at my father blowing his candles in all earnest. Making a SUPER long wish i wonder did he wish for the whole family to be bonded?
Maybe some of the things he ever said were MEANT to hurt and wake us up? Like If someone else be mi daughter it wud be better. Did he realli think so>? Or when we grow up he doesn depend on us. he doesn need us? Is it cux he doesn wan to be a burden to us? Is that his way of loving us? HAHA. O my god... Pls dun say that... HURTS more than shows me ur love.

Back in 1999 when all those stuff happened.. u left the family's LIFELINE in mi hands. Wad were u thinking man! TRUST! O man u trust a 6 yr old judgement more than ur own one. Wad if i decided sometink else. Den how? Today i wun get to c mi whole family tgt.

Today can c mi whole family TAKE pic TGT make me wanna cry. U cannot c on mi face bt is in mi heart. This reality could have be a far away dream if not for all the help my family received.It could have so eaily be snapped up in a dream.

So people remeber to treasure ur parents. Reality now could have been just a farway dream. Appreciate everytink they do for u. Maybe you wun like wad they do 4 u. but then u stop n see their intentions and u will c sometink vv sacred and beautiful de. They also dunno wad u tink . They can onli best fit. Like u onli cn draw a best fit line sometimes right in E maths. Ya human also the same de. As long they love u the best way they can !the thoughts are truely nice. Sometimes dun just see things at face value see beyond that and c its origin!

LTC afterthoughts

2008-09-22T20:19:00.007+08:00

LTC is over liao =D . i must say that i did enjoy LTC to a certain extent and not to a certain extent. My group consisted of Gina, Alan, Joshua, Kienan and me.Grp name is: unbeatables!i tink one lor. HAHA... HAHA. I must say that i don't really have a common topic with them and it was a bit hard lah. To try to Cha into the conv.Then like very left out. But then this kinda tink is like bo bian one la. Gt feel with the grp then can high lol.Can crap. But this camp grp high bu liao. I was very quiet.HAHA. But they are very nice ppl. Waiting for me and all even though i ran very slowly.They were really entertaining with their jokes also la. Juz nt m type=D.. I kinda very redundant also la. HAHA. seldom contribite also.Very guilty actualli. Also nv encourage them cuz mi myself already like CMI la. HAHA. Sorry ah!

During Blindman's walk.. feel like gg to have asthma attack, wanted to ask Kerwin if cn rest mah. But den later decided against it=D haha but ok leh. Nth happen. Julia got come ask us if we r alright. HAHA. she super cute and caring de. I'm very glad to noe her la though she mistake me for Jia yi then i end up in CS sub com. So actualli i'm nt choosen de. hehe.. heng right? It's one accident but nvm la. Still can use this opportunity. Anyway MC prob wun get in de nxt yr=D..But CS sub com de ppl realli brought me a lot of joy after getting to noe them better=D. Daphne,Pei Yi Jie, Meng Xi were really nice and encouraging throughout the camp. Many a times i just feel like giving up though hehe....But then i wan to finish LTC la.

Then finish le!

Super happy! When Kerwin break camp tt time..gt sense of accomplishment seh. Maybe i a bit siao la.Like a lot of ppl also complete. Maybe some find the camp no kick. But then i find all the station vv tough. Plus i vv slpy. HAhA. Run until vv tired n breadthless. 1st day leg full of mosquito bites and blisters.Now getting better le HAHA. Actualli i thik a lot of ppl also have blisters de la. But nvm i'll still complain! HAHA.

3rd day tt time injured my hand and butt. Cux the caterpillar game right. I cannot lift myself high enough =.=" i realli try le. but i no strength! I tried le! den dun wan drag the rest down so i drag mi butt along the ground lol.. faster mah. And try to make the balloon not fall. Sweat like siao seh. Den end up now gt blisters on mi butt! Wanna laugh seh. HAHA. Plus wear FBT shorts damn Zhao gen lol. like cn feel mi undergarments. Kp pulling the pants down. HAHAHA. i think right nobodi play de game play until so chee chum like me . HAHAH. Play until butt pain.LOLS.then dun dare to bathe when we got back to bunk.

Actualli gt injured mi palms also. bt i gt plaster so didn't wanna trouble to medics but they LTC camp ppl insist. haha. touched le. HAHAHA.Peiyi jie ask me to ask medics to help me with mi butt cux it was bleeding. den kinda disgusting. WAHAHAH....two red lines.po pi. ahyoyo... disgusting. ah ya. nvm la. dun make them do tt kinda of disgusting tink. i c miself also disgusted. Now camp over le at least cn make a little noise when pain. Sit down n walk also pain. =.=!!walk like penguin. but dun wan mum to worry. So try to put the stupid med miself. HAHA. ah ya! dun ask me why i walk like tt le. HAHA. Lucky tt happened on day 3. not die sia. Bt vv hard to walk n run in camp vv pain bt also muz pretend nth wrong.nt ppl worry jiu nt gd la. bt end le!!! haa=D bt now right... ah ya .. like the wound open even wider! worse seh. i tink aggrevate cux i run n sit very fast. Pi gu tong!! haha. nw pain like siao. HHAHA.

I love the campfire and the dunnowad night, dunno hw to spell. damn entertaining seh. I damn impressed to c Ernest. Chorchuan and Jun xian act girl. Alamak wanna laugh till siao liao. Esp Junxian tt one. Kao hot lol . I tink Kuo Qiang also shock tio at wad JX cn do seh. Like so experienced like tt . LOLS. Julia jealous le. HAHAHHAHAHA. fun la tt one. laugh like crazy. haha.

eh.. still gt wad ah. o ya. Julia gt do briefing. After celebrating Willie's BD. She say a lot of tinks. Like. its hard to get into CSCC sub com we choose u cux u have potential. HAHA i like damn extra la. cux i pi jing also is accident one. HAHA. Thank you Julia for ur mistake! haha... Thanks for being in CS too. Been really great knowing someone so devoted, serious and fun at the same time. Gotta lot to learn frm u.

Den later she also got ask who wan to be leader. Den Meng Xi gt raise her hand. Haha... Julia like quite disappointed. Gt the urge to raise my hand.. cux c her face also kinda xin tong. HAHAH.But then aiyah dun lie la. I dun think i have the qualities but the camp ppl a lot have=D so they no nid worry nobodi can be leader de la. =D

Nightwalk.. ok la.. hhaa... lucky got kathelyn there . Not so scared. Glad to be of some use. HAHA.

Butt is still hurting. This morning when i went to dress the wound gt blood all over. HAHHAHA. i wonder hw it looks at the back. can't c. Maybe dun c also better. HHAHA..eh wait. This morning i also nv wake up. Woke up at 2:30pm. But i still very very sleepy. But cannot slp nt tOnight cannot slp also. tired sia.

Later i going to ask Jia yi online discuss abt Ling Kwan home tink. I'm Publications again! haha....LOLS.

tOday=present

2008-09-07T22:05:00.002+08:00

The past is our memories, the future holds our hopes and dreams. But the present is what it is. A present that we must fully treasure and appreciate.

Miracles happen , you just have to believe in them.=D

tOmorrow gt event WAHAHA. jUz nw go sch vv dead. cux vv tired. but nw eat le even more slpy WAHHAHA. Ah Xian! faster reach home den cn call ppl den i cn go be mi Ke ai de pig le. =D WAHHAHA. Shalalalala...

suan le

2008-09-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

Woo. today tried to look for the 2007 blog. The one filled with emo posts. WAHAHHA. n mi emo childhood but u noe wad. They say the URL doesn't exist. www.victorybelongstome@blogspot.com. Ok fated not to c it again. WAHHAA. shd i be happi ?Ok forget it! Let the past be past. Forget suan le.

Lalala

2008-09-04T20:27:00.003+08:00

tOday i went to watch Walle with Amanda! it was a really nice show. Quite touching. Especially Walle's undying love for Eva or eve? O wadever. I can't remember. LOLS. Also shows how we can destroy the earth if there is too much consumerisim and we do not conserve the earth one day it will become a ghost town filled with rubbish. K lazy to type me full thoughts out. HAHAH. bt nt bad la. WAHHAHA. Went to borrow books on Down syndrome today. Shd go n read it now. WAHHAHA. Later!

Random thoughts

2008-08-29T00:02:00.003+08:00

hellos blog! its the holidays again!~ however this time round it feels so empty=D. well... after exam went home instead of going out as usual. I reallli miss mi sec sch. Can nv be the same. Poly frewns have their sec sch frens. HAHA. haix... i miss them so much. Bt vv hard to ask them out=D all having EXAMS. sO depressing. Sometimes i wonder if i am the only one missing them? maybe i think too much. After all We HAVE to move on with life.=D i kp in contat with them though. aWW... stefy...WAKE UP AND MOVE ON STUPID GAL.
Anyways tml gotta wake up early. gO club=D dunno do wad eh. 10am.. sobs. cannot slp... =D k shan't complain.
BYESSSSSSS>>>>

lol

2008-08-19T00:26:00.002+08:00

today have FOM paper. Thought is ok la. bt u nv noe de. Sometimes u think ok end up= not ok. HAHHA
But anyway. Dun forward can le. Pei yi say wun so wun. HAHA. I anwhw de. I need reassurance. Dun care.
Wed PACC. WOOTS! JIA YOUS. Determination of the Olympics.
feeling sick. sian
nose itchy. Stomach cramps( under control!!) Yep yep. runny nose. =.=
So dots. bt nvm. still cn take exam= good cux no need forward module. YESSA

Balance leh u dumb balance sheet.

2008-08-13T21:14:00.001+08:00

AH YO i tell u ah! CANNOT BALANCE LEH! damn pek chek. I gg to hit the roof le. Den u see got ONE BIG HOLE. ITAB die le. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Ah wadever. SO MADDDDDDDD. BALANCE LEHH!!!

sick.

2008-08-08T19:52:00.002+08:00

Feeling sick the whole day. HAHA. So wasn in a very gd mood. I think i have to like watch my mood le. HAHA. Later accidentally hurt my friends' feelings. Mum is back from the hospital.YAYs. I hope she's alright now. Feeling hungry. Maybe later go add CS ppl's e-mail cux a bit free now=)).Although i gt the list frm vv long ago.... HAHA.
O man mi nose is itchy!!

~~depressing

2008-08-07T16:59:00.002+08:00

Mum hospitalized. Wanted to go and see her but den she said dun wan cux mi exams coming. Den she say if i go dad wun be with her 4 vv long. haha. so ok lol. dun distrub them. She sounds weak sia. I hope everytink is alright. Even if its nt she will still tell me it is. Like last time...
So murphy's law is correct lor..
Someone come give me some hope. LOLS.

Juz pray everytink will be fine=((

Lalala

2008-08-05T23:14:00.002+08:00

So today Stats sit there and COPY ans.Understanding is 0.00% sad. Nvm. You get to live life once , so dun be sad. Juz be more prepared nxt time. mi stats gt 100. Woa. Unexpected right. but 7 other peeps in mi class 2. HAHA . But who cares. i got 100. i'm happy.
FOM 75. Maintain. Never drop, Ok le la. The exam will cheong to do better. =))
Tiffany vv hardworking. Do PACC. HAHA. Gt question i cn ask her. VERI GD! haha.
me haven start PACC. But NVM. shall start at a later time. Me going to watch drama. Yep yep.
Osh... CS meeting today weird weird de. Actually its always weird. Outing is go K box. Got one person same BD as me SIA. WOA. COOL. i noe 2 ppl same BD as me le. Lucky me.( anyhw say de) i also dunno de girl. HAHA.

BYES~~~

poem

2008-08-05T00:23:00.002+08:00

Not until the last minute don't give up. =)
As long its not over, nothing is decided, nothing is finalised.
Must believe. Even if FOM seems unstudyable/ unmemorizable
Its ok. Muz be open to challenges( SP core values)
When results get back, not up to standard,
Hey baby! Means u got more potential. Nxt time will do better than now.

So I shall motivate myself to study instead of like netting everyday in front of the com and surfing the .coms... LOLS.

crap

2008-08-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

I read a blog of one of my guy friend and i thought: Wow. He really loves his girlfriend after a breakup of so many years.

Maybe true love exists but i dun see it. LOLS.

Xin Fu bu shi chuan shou like the JIA QI said. Xin Fu shi zai zhou wei, xiang kong qi yi ban, ni kan bu dao dan shi ta yong yuan jiu zai ni shen bian. Zhe dao you yi tian zhen de bu jian le, ni cai hui hou hui. LOLS.

tOday give Jia Ying her present. sorry so overdue sia. Not feeling well no time go buy.
Me: Jia Ying Jia gei wo
Jia Ying:HUH!
Jia Yi: Wo ben lai yao jie hua de.

Iconic.Once in a lifetime reaction.HAHA. actualli kinda fun. HAHA.
My poly clique de ppl super fun to distrub, HAHAHAHAHA.

it juz gets worse.

2008-08-02T20:55:00.002+08:00

^^ today go library study, xiao V ask me what is ACCURED EXPENSES and guess wad i couldn't rmb. HAHA. actualli i noe bt mi mind BLANK. so u see ppl. Mid yr gone case liao.LAUGHS. Plus the lack of slp is killing me. I need some comfort. I'm feeling hopeless. Numb and dunno wad lols. HAHA.

I am so so tired...nt cux of stress bt cux of mi headache n slpless nights. I sorta put the maggie mee into the pot b4 it boiled ytd. So i ended up eating SOGGY MEE.
Now i am a bit better le but i still cannot gurantee.=((

today i see hui fen den i vv vv happi.
Ytd i vv vv sad cux of econs results bt an online fren from tagged cheered me up a little. =))

cryy lee..

-panda with red specs-

haha. sobs.

2008-08-01T23:06:00.003+08:00

tOday get back econs results. den 72~~~! like shit. But nvm. expected. HAHA. LOLS.Mi head like super pain lah. SAD. CA2 lousy nvm. bt semester exam cannot ler. But my head vv vv pain. i hope will faster ok leh. Not exam how. cannot study. I think hard only my head pain like dunno wad. SLP tt time will have a subtle pain. HOW. PLS PLS let me ok fast fast den i cn study ok . PLS PLS PLS. I wan to do well in MSE. want to cry le.

A SHARP KNIFE STAB INTO MY HEART TODAY WHEN I GET BACK MY ECONS RESULTS. AND EVEN MORE SO WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT ACTUALLY I ONLI DUNNO 6 MARKS WORTH OF QUESTIONS. THE REST ARE ALL CUX MENTAL BLOCK AND THAT DAY HEAD PAIN LIKE CRAZY. THOSE WAN 2 CRY TYPE.AND DUNNO WHY DIDN'T SEE SOME VALUES IN THE QUESTIONS DEN DUNNO HOW TO DO.
STEPHANIE ITS OK BUT MI HEAD NEEDS TO STOP HURTING.SHIT!

shalalala

2008-07-30T21:28:00.001+08:00

It juz gets more sian as the days go by. My world is like a bit upside down n mi feelings are on a rollar coastar ride.Maybe i'll emo for a few days. MUAHAHAHA. LOLS.

Results

2008-07-28T19:42:00.003+08:00

tOday i got back my PACC results and i scored a 66. Though i expected that kind of results i was pretty upset about it. These days my mind hasn't been clear for about one week plus and even when i knew my stuff the words seem to be floating around and i can't focus. I think i screwed Econs too. All the things i knew were kinda floating in my throbbing head. I couldn't seem to register or remeber anything i read or studied. I thought it was ok at first but now i think i need a doc before too many days pass and more things get cluttered up in my mind.
Its more abt my cluttered mind that i'm worried about rather than my results.( Since its over and i mean u can't do anything about it)
Today i was also unable to register anything i read on the past yr paper Ms Han gave us. Prepaid , Accrued I know them but the info juz floats in my heavy head and i can't focus or remember anything about them as i once used too. I'm getting a little worried... =(

i randomly choose to love you. NL- no link

2008-07-27T18:23:00.002+08:00

Watched 18 jin bu jin yesterday. Got hooked liao. HAHAHA. Dead. haven even go and find wad events to do for CSCC thing. Tot of doing with someone i'm nt that close with. Like bonding since Julia say le. But then the scenerio would be...
Me: Erm.. (* smile*) Hello.
tt person: Yes?Why are you looking at me like that? ( me erm.. its juz the way i look at ppl.. can't be helped de.. heheh. Bt i will juz smile. HAHA)
Me: Erm....so can i do an event with u.
tt person: ??!Sure( bt thinks i'm weird).
Me: HAHA. Sad. i'm weird. HAHAHAHAHA.( runs ard in circles with raised hands)
Tt person: OMG!! o.O
Jia yi: she's like that de.See i have to bear with it everyday. ah yo.
Me: Its your honour. MUAHAHA.
Jia Yi: Dots. ( typical everyday conv with my sweet fren. HAHAHA)

Ok so forget it.This is juz soo gonna spoil my reputation. Either i do on my own or do with Jia yi. HAHA.

O man i haven done my a/c tutorial..Tomorrow gg get back paper liao.

Scenerio tml:(In chinese)
Jia Qi: How How, my left eye keeps twitching!! 86 shut up~
Me: Aww.. you can de! dun worry.
Jia Qi: how how!! i'm scared!!
me: its over le. dun worry!
But i am nervous like shit.
* when i go to the front to receive my paper, my heart skips a beat and my mind is racing like 10 sport cars on a racing track. Voomp~~*

To be continued....

BTW mi ITAB i got 75 for CA1. Was hoping for an A but i mean its not sometink i excel in so i'm happy!! Theres so many random thoughts in my head i tink i'mgonna explode and the police would have be arrested n try to cut the wire to stop me from exploding. HAHAHA. =.=

me

2008-07-27T18:20:00.004+08:00

tOday i am unable to concentrate on anything. Exams are coming round the corner and i am still slacking. HAHA. hmm..
Sometimes i wish i could do more to relief the pain i see around me but den i realise that is so much i cannot do!
In order to become a counsellor i must learn to better control my emotions.It is only then can i be able to stay calm n give help. Please give me strength and courage, ^_^

Against all adversities i shall be standing together with you.
I'm no light, not much of a help bt i shall be that little comfort n hope shd u need me. LOLS.

Human girl

2008-07-25T19:25:00.004+08:00

Believe me. I also cry. I am not as optimistic or cherry as u think. I also get angry. I also get frustrated. i can also be hurt. Doesn mean i can counsel ppl means i can handle my feelings. Doesn mean i talk to ppl when i c them means i'm sociable. I'm shy .I also scared ppl think i weird. I also scared ppl dun like me. I also scared being left out. I also sad when i feel left out in a grp. which happens sometimes when i dun noe ppl tt well yet, I also dun like going to CCA when i noe almost noone. ( bt they vv nice peeps)Did u noe?I feel the stress also. I 'm scared of ghosts and dark. I dun like ppl scare me(Young tt time scared enuff le. Dun wan le) n i dun like camp. My parents think i'm like : why i dun like.

U noe what baby? i also dunno. But i can't lie to myself. I can be only me.I'm just in human girl in the end and theres so little i can do. Sometimes ppl.. do u noe it hurts being me? So i'm nt a gd role model like wad u think. I'm juz ... nah dun be like me. =)
Everyone is unique.
Blood+ flesh+ personality+mind+talent= A person.
And everyone is a person. YESS=)

Just me

2008-07-25T19:15:00.002+08:00

been feeling pretty down these few days.=) Now things seems to get better~~
Today Perfect Cut's last episode le!! Super nice show.
Passion and hope are just like light. U cannot see them but they are there. Without them, one cannot achieve big things. Just like light. Without it I cannot see all the wonderful things in the world.=)
.
There is so many things people dun understand. But i dun owe them an explaination.
Everything i go through makes me stronger against adversity and i know myself better and better~~=)

I dun hope for a smooth sailing life. I Hope for a life worth living where i grow overcome challenges=)

One day when i retire i shall fulfuill my dream of being a counsellor=) YAYS.

:)

2008-07-17T00:41:00.003+08:00

:>: Hello girl why do you look so sad today?
:<: cux mi mouth is less than not more than.
.
.
.
.
.
:(---- Too many things gg on at the same time!
:)---- Cheer up things will get better.
:/-----Really meh>?
:)-----Ya! i promise.
:(------Ok i believe it. If it doesn i'll skin u alive. MUAHAHA.

THIS IS STRICTLY juz a stress reliever. LOLS.

Sians

2008-07-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

Actualli very lazy to blog now. Too many things on my mind.Super Lazy.
Sudden feeling of helplessness. Feel a bit lost. Shadn't elaborate.
Anyways exams and presentations coming up plus a camp.
Camp dad say dun go mum say go fri sat.
To centralise i say i go sat nia. But i haven't told Julia. Dunno how to say also.
Bt in the end also have to say. So when i c her online den i say ba. LOLS.
Tired sia! HAHA.
* Miss sec sch* Sing sch song at sch concert today.
Everyone misses their sec sch i guess. I miss mine 2. HAHAAHAHA. LOLS.

CAs=.=

2008-07-07T19:46:00.002+08:00

So far my results are able to meet my expectations. Well... actually better than i expected. But CA2 i dare not comment cux a/c ACCURED n wad PREPAID!!! Den wad B/s wad!! Ah ya!!! I dun noe leh. Vv Terok sia.
CA1
Stats-1st paper UNKNOWN 4eva!!
PACC-86
Econs-88
ITAB- Dunno yet.
FOM-75
EC-72( wth) O well.

Nvm work hard to CA2. Yeppies!Sch term juz started not long ago and stefy is looking forward to the nxt holidays alr-.-" LOLS.

CHEONG AH~~

2008-07-07T19:36:00.003+08:00

On sat I was feeling super depressed. Plus i was sick. I dunno why. But i went to CSCC sub com outing.Mi head hurt like crazy. I cried throughout the movie cux of the pain n the show. ( 10 promises to my dog)DOTS. I dunno wad impression i made bt i dun feel like thinking. I was depressed until Amanda n later Tiffany called. Cheered me up. HAHA. So now mi mood is : Happy. But i was depressed luh, sO i cudn't smile much. sorri guyz . have to c tt face of mine. Ntg to do with u. Unfair luh bt ah ya. Me also will sad sometimes. HAHA.LOLS. Like they will ever read this. HAHA.
Anyways! everytink seems to be jam packed. HAHA. WOA. i'd be fine. Juz have to manage time well. :)
14th july- PACC CA2.
15th July- Befriender meeting.( Kryon not as fierce as i thought she was)HENG AH:)) gdgd!
18th July- Stats CA1
18th-20th July- Connection camp.( O thanks Catherine 4 helping me take the indeminty wadever form ah)
21th- Econs CA2
22nd July- FOM presentation.
CHEONG AH!!!! Hahas,
* happy cheonging to me*

2nd July

2008-07-03T01:04:00.002+08:00

Today 2nd July is a unforgettable day. Jia Yi brought a fruit cake from her family shop.SUPER NICE. With cream of couse! HAHA. Its actualli to celebrate Kerrin and Jia Qi's super long belated birthday But hey! Still got celebrate! It's the thought that counts! HAHA
Anyways Jia Ying and Jia Yi fed each other one huge peach. You should have seen! Memorable! LOLS, Too bad no time to take pictures.
Jia Qi tried to smear cream on us! LOLS. Managed to smear on me and Tiffany.LOLS. Used tissue to clean off.It was a short celebration in the morning before ITAB lesson but it was pretty fun. Helped Jia Qi carry laptop and her unfinshed cake just for TODAY. HAHA.
PS: The cake was ravaged by us mercilessly!! HAHA. It was really funny because we tried not using plates. Armed with just a plastic folk we poked the cake. COOL! We used our hands to pick the fruits. It looked messy in the end bt that was the fun of it.
Kerrin was playing with the matches we took from a vendor to light the candles. HAHA.The little girl who sold match sticks! lols. haha.
Later in the afternoon, after school went out with Hui Fen! haha. Missed her a lot. We went to AMK to get her hair cut den to AMK hub for lunch. Just chatted bah. Later we went to Beauty Horizon to buy some products. And then we went home. Short simple iternary but i was SUPER HAPPI cux i gt to c her. *smiles*
Plus today i managed to complete my CD report! Kudos to me! yea!
My soles are hurting. I think the skin has hardened...its a little painful.
^^~ anyways.... HAHA.

school

2008-06-28T10:16:00.002+08:00

Went out with a friend that doesn like to be named yesterdae. HAHA. Roamed City hall. Was super tired ytd BUT i still muz go out. HAHA.i dun care. HAHA. Aww... i so miss mi sec sch days. now i can onli see mi sec sch friends like ONCE in a WHILE or once in a YEAR.Sometimes i think i'm gonna cry when i see the cards they gave me. HAHA. LOLs.
School life now is not bad la. Actually... Well the people are nice and all bt the workload is crap. LOLS. Haha. Haven finished the reports!! I c the FOM project i sian already. No i muz perserve! CHEONG AH!!! oww... mosquito bite.

Review of all the CA1/2 papers

1.) PACC- Unsure but finished.Do paper that time gt a shock.Verdict:Okok
2.) Econs- Unsure , never finish. Do paper wan 2 faint. Verdict: A bit below okok.
3.) ITAB- Some formatting unable to do. Finished paper.Do paper with a bundle of nerves.Verdict: Okok.
4.) Statistics-Do paper a bit stressed. Finished paper. Probability unsure. Verdict-IDK wad to say.

Last but not least-
Happy belated BD 2 Kerrin n Jia Qi(we wanted to celebrate with u guys bt ya u 2 always not free. SO HAPPY BELATED BD.LOLS)
Birthday wishes to both :.
Stay happy n pretty. Jia Yous for all exams. N Jia Qi cont to teach me. YAY.

Exams!

2008-06-25T20:39:00.003+08:00

Today the paper i fear most is over. I am relieved. Like a bird let out of a cage. HAHA. I woke up at 5:30am today to practice ITAB. Pushed on even though i was having really bad cramps.hahas. But when i saw the paper today i was relieved that my practice at least managed to enable me to do the paper relatively with ease. Feeling tired now. Really lazy to study Stats. Got connection camp on dunno when.HAHA.
Actually i dun like camps but then nvm juz go. Hopefully Jia Yi will be there too. HAHA. Haix... later she not free or dunno what i am alone le. HAHA. Hopefully the connection camp will be fun. I'm feeling really tired now. HAHA.
O YA! Today i was 5 mins late for ITAB exam but the invigilatior started even later! HOHO. On the MRT train i was so so scared!! Super nervous. Msged Jia Qi and a friend that doesn like to be named. Cooled down a bit. HAHA
Tml gg to library to study stats with Jia Qi and Jia Yi. HAHA. Really lucky to have hardworking friends to study with me. And Jia Qi to teach me. Really learnt a lot from her. :)
I think i am a lucky girl because

1.) I have a loving mother and a bad tempered but doting father and a lovely sister

2.)I have really good friends who helped me a lot in Secondary sch!
Amanda to always make me happy, Hui fen to always be there.Eunice to listen to me. And MANY MORE. no space to type. refer to dedication in Feb 2008:)

3.) I have a really sweet clique in Poly though i have not known them for long yet. And we haven had any outing. HAHA. LOLS. (Tiffany. Jia Yi. Jia Qi, Jia Ying,kerrin!)

4.) Ppl in CSCC com( Community service) appear to be nice . HOHO i dun noe them well yet. HAHA

5.)I have a strict PACC tutor but she can explain concepts well.

6.) I have a realli nice and patient ITAB Tutor

7.) I have friends who will teach me!

8.)I have 5 hamsters who i love.

9.) I am generally happy:)

10.) I have nice uncles and aunties who r very nice to me( Esp Weng Fatt, Weng Foo and Sau Hua Jie jie:they have 2 really cute kids. HAHAS)

11.) Cindy Mummy and Victor daddy have been very nice to me

Msg to readers: If i had to count all my blessings i'd count u twice. =P
A smile a day keeps enzyme-pH curve away!!

People like to say i am hypocritical cux i smile often.
I can only say: Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. -M. Kathleen Casey

ITAB

2008-06-24T23:54:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow gonna have ITAB!!! omg.. the most feared subject for MST! Haha. Really wanna thank Amanda. Jia Qi and Mrs ong(ITAB teacher) for helping an IT idiot to finially see some light.Hopefully my tireless practice of hours in front of my ITAB exercises pay off..
Really lucky to have people take time out of their busy schedule to help me with my work.Really appreciate you guys.AND mrs Ong made IPMT n PPMT and PMT and FV, PV clearer today. She's realli sweet to teach us so patiently and take time out to re teach us. Thank you!!
All the best to fellow readers who have their MST now or exams now. JIA YOU!

hOlidays:))

2008-06-18T00:02:00.003+08:00

So far my holidays have been quite fun i suppose. But kinda tired. HAHA. MST coming. SOBS. tml gt to wakey at 730am go SP... sobs.. HAHA. O well. Muz be enthu abt it!!
Aniway in a nut shell my holidays have been as follows:
Movie: Indiana Jones ( or whatever his name is) and the dunno wad skull thing.
Kung Fu Panda.
Food: Home cooked food, Sakura, Sakae Sushi, Ikea, Swensens, Ajisen, Pastamania, KFC, Mac, SIAM kitchen.
Places: SP... for CSCC meeting and AGM banner painting, Consultation(tmr)
Zoo.
Coffee Bean to study ITAB with Amanda
Shopping at Far East Plaza, Tampines,Bugis Street.
Bowling at Safra
Hortpark
Downtown East
K Box.
Inline skating
Escape
Tanjong Pagar to buy some product.
Grandma's house 4 consultation by my uncle n aunty
( Thank you!^^)

That's about it bahs. ^^ MST..... omg. ITAB is gg to kill me.

Lalala HAHAHa

2008-06-08T20:01:00.003+08:00

As requested! HAHA. Wa.. the tag by Jia ying very long leh. HAHA.

Rules
1:The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2:Each player answers questions about themselves
3: The player tags 3 people. Post their names. Goes to their blog and leave a comment, letting them know they got tagged and ask them to join the game and read ur blog:p

Starting time: 8:07pm
Name: Stephanie Tan
Sisters: 1
Brothers:0
Shoe size: Ehx... 8 or 9?
Height: 1.68m

Where do you live?
I live in a place called my house.

Favourite drink?
Ice Milo, Hot milo, Mango/Chocolate/Avocado/Oero milkshake or smoothies( FATTERNING!!)
Fruit juices, Chocolate and strawberry milk

Favourite Breakfast?
Mac Big breakfast, Ya Kun kaya Toast, half boiled eggs with milo or plain water.

Have you ever been on a plane?
Yes.

Have you ever swam in the ocean?
Yes.

Fallen asleep in school?
Yes. Esp in MJC's chem lesson-.-"

Fell off your chair?
Yes.( ma lu lol.)

Sat by the phone all night for a person to call?
No, but got wait for SMS.

Saved e-mails?
Yes. Esp sweet ones by friends and family:)

What is your room like?
Ordinary with orange curtains, a study table, a computer desk( with the computer and mouse and stuff) and 4 bookcases and an armchair, Air con, an iron board.Walls are painted light purple.

What's right beside you?
Air molecules.. oxygen , nitrogen, carbon dioxide.. DUH. My ITAB textbook and laptop case.

What's the last thing you ate?
Carrot cake from Pr central.

Ever had chicken pox?
Yes. when i was about 6 years old.

Sore throat?
Yes.

Stitches?
no! HAHA HENG AH~~

Broken nose?
I dun think so luh.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Hmm... i think so? HAHA

do you like picnics?
Sure!

Who were/was the last person you danced with?
Eunice and 2 guys i can't rmb. Last year. DUH..

Last made you smile?
Hui fen. HAHA.

You last yelled at
My sister. forgot regarding what issue.. lols

Today you did..
PACC past MST papers asked my aunt and uncle about PACC.Use laptop. HAHA. SMS ppl. yep yep. nth le boring life. HAHA.

Have you ever.. kissed anyone?
No..but was kissed b4. BT I SWEAR I DIDN NOE HE WAS GG TO DO TT.

Get sick?
Yes

Miss someone?
You bet!

Eat?
Sure! although trying to lose weight.

Best feeling in the world.
When .. let me think..When.. ah ya dunno hw to say.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Used to. But they always ended up on the floor. MUAHAHA.

What is under your bed?
Air molecules. Dust.. maybe?

Who do you really hate?
Noone. I mean dislike a bit maybe have but hate is juz too extreme...PLUS its too tiring lah. waste of time..

What is the time now?
21:02

Random. Is there a person on your mind now?
Yes. HAHA.

Do you have any siblings?
Yes. A sister who is very different from me. We need a lot of give and take to make our relationship good. Which i can still maintain for now. HAHA.

Do you want children?
Maybe one or 2. Dunno. AH YA MARRIED DEN SAY LA. still do far away. lols.

Do you smile often?
I guess so:)

Do you like your handwritting?
No..

Are your toe nails painted?
Yes. Black.

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
Eh.. dun have. MY BED IS NO 1!

What colour shirt are you wearing now?
White.

What were you doing at 7;00pm yesterday?
Daydreaming. HAHA

When did you last cry?
A few weeks ago cux saw war movie lah. HAHAHA.

Are you a friendly person?
You say leh. OF CUX!

Do you have any pets?
Yes Five hamsters. Pearl, Money, Mummy, Ah boy, Ah pui.

Where is the person who you have feelings for right now?
Dunno bt as long he's happi ok lor. HAHA.

Did the last person who you held hands with mean anitink to you now?
Yes.

Do you sleep with the TV on?
NO! WASTE ELECTRICITY. oil price rising le. SAVE MONEY N OIL!! conserve the environment!!

What are you doing right now?
Doing this lor.

Have you ever crawled through a window.
Yes. The literal one. When a door is closed a window will open n i'll climb out of it to see the sun! HAHA LOL.

Can you handle the truth?
Maybe not but i want to know it anyway.

Are you too forgiving?
Depends on my mood.

Are you closer to your mother or father.
Depends on the issue at hand.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Hui Fen.

How many people can you say you really loved?
Family + friends=a lot leh.. bt to narrow down..13.

Do you eat healthy?
Depends on my determination that day.

Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
Yes.

If you are having a bad day who are you likely to go to?
Hui Fen, Amanda, Eunice.

Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
Quiet.

Are you confident?
Not really... my presentation suck... SOBS

5 things i was doing 10 years ago.
- Sleep
- Breathe
-Brush teeth
-Wake up
- Go school.

5 things on my to do list for today
-Eat
-Do some revision?
-Play?
-erm sleep?
- duno liao..

5 snacks i enjoy
-Potato chips
-Chocolate chip cookies and cookies from Subway.
-Blueberry waffles( I ONLI EAT TT WAFFLE)
-Blueberry and American cheesecake n cheese cake by Shierly aunty( ALAMAK I MISS HER CHEESECAKE SIA, bt vv rude to ask ppl make 4 u.SOBS, cannot buy...)
-Van Houten, Calbury, Ferreo rochay( dunno how to spell la), GuyLian, Kinder burneo, Merci chocolates!

5 things i would do if i were a billionaire.
- donate some to the needy
- Buy a bungalow near the sea
-Go visit cultural places

5 of my bad habits
-Lazy
-Blur
-Procastinate sometimes
-Bad tempered at times.
-Nil

5 places i have lived in
- Pasir Ris and Pasir ris and Pasir ris lor.

5 jobs i have had
- Pushcart jie jie lor.

5 people i tag
-Amanda
-Jolyn
-Shi Rui
- Vivian
-Tiffany

YAY!!

2008-06-02T19:57:00.001+08:00

Mood?

2008-06-02T19:00:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: Tian Tian Ye Ye by FIR.
I was actually feeling pretty lousy this morning.Also dunno why.Hahas. Godma and godpa visited yesterday. Was happy to see them. Haven seen them in ages. Godma has no temper n is really a pleasure to talk to=P. No stress de.Looking forward to gO out with them and Bryan and Nicolas! when they r free. WAHAHAHA.
Anyways was a bit worried about my dad's condition since he looked like he was in great pain.( he was).Was hormonal during the past few days when dad was stuck to his bed-.-" couldn't help bt recall the past. Made me damn worried. i also dunno y. maybe i'm mad. rmbed all the crying( gladly my mum tot i was too young to understand bt i did) i smart ma. HAHA. Anyways now dad's better n so is my mood.
In the afternoon, i was having a terrible headache. Tried to sleep it away. Didn't really help. But nvm, dad's alright n mi mood is back. HAHA.
Saw Kerrin's e-mail n i was OMG! she didn't receive the attachements. So i sent it again to her n the rest. HAHA. hope they receive it alr.
Didn't manage to do much revision today. Aww... muz jia you alr! no more slacking! Haha.
If we have the time maybe we'll ( Jia yi, Jia ying, Jia Qi, Kerrin, Tiffany!)go 2 east coast park for cycling! Nice! I'll get to ride pillion cux i dunno hw to ride a bike-.-"
We talked abt it but have to see if everyone's free then. HAHA. Kays! BB blog!

speechless

2008-05-29T02:23:00.002+08:00

tOday had ITAB lesson. freaking lost. Gonna try my best to improve during the holidays! Had to dO the CD research because their a short sharing session tomorrow. As i was working on CD, i felt more and more sian. I'd rather do something more productive. CD is crap.I mean its like English lessons and its so not fun.( Had to do the stupid project on work) Far cry from Sec sch. Its just super boring. I don't think i developed my character at all. Target setting is something i always do, but the CD one is just too argHh.. speechless, forced maybe? It doesn come naturally animore. Thanks to CD module.
Haha. Shall quit complaining. CSCC meeting changed to 30th . WOAHOO~ means tml i can get home earlier and get my well deserved sleep. Haven slept early for dunno how many weeks. My head's hurting like crazy.
Thankfully FOM presentation is over. I bet i didn do very well. Teacher was furrying his brows. I think i'm dead. Plus i used tons of singlish.*Shit*Everyone looked very sian on that day.Crapped through the whole thing.When Jamie asked the group question i tio stun sia. HAHA. But managed to crap some dunno wad rubbish la.After FOM i was super sian.
Didn't really get anitink in my head during Statistics.
When i reached home i just wanted to hug my bed.But then i wanted my TV as well.
Slept at 12am. Nows alr 2 .33 am . Sians.Haven completed Econs CA1.
Really scared of MST. Wanna do well so badly!!! WISH ME LUCK. I wan it bad enuff...

Mentoring

2008-05-24T02:07:00.003+08:00

Had my mentoring interview yesterday:). Just told the truth. Told it like it is. Probbably wouldn't get the position but its okays. Cux i still got CSCC sub com.Even if i get into mentoring i will like say i got other commitments le. i juz wanna test mi interview skills. LOLS. Yesterday was a pretty tiring day. Rushing FOM like some mad woman. Today also. But its finally done. ( my part of the report)I'm glad. :) Wish Kerrin and Jia Ying all the best in the powerpoint slides. Thank you everyone for your effort!!:)
Celebrated Jia Yi's birthday with her today.Happi BD to u.. The clique: Jia Yi, Jia Ying, Kerrin Tiffany, Jia Qi and me was as usual very funny. But everyone very sian when lessons were gonna start. HAHA. Had Sausuage Prata after school! Really yummy! Haven't eaten that in a long time.
Tiffany took candid snapshots of us. Jia Ying says we should make a video of these pictures and remeber it forever! sOoo sweet. Hhaha.
MST coming.. STRESS AH. HAHA. Wish me all the best::))

tired

2008-05-21T19:55:00.002+08:00

Feel really tired today. But still wanted to go meet mi sec sch fren. HAHA. Bought Jia Yi's present today. Spent some time at TM. Today ITAB lesson i wasn't so lost. ITAB also got MST which is super sian. Have project on ITAB also. CA 2 FOM project also come liaox.Feel tired bt still wan to kp going. HAHA. Actually panned to revise about 1 hr ago but realli very tired. Didn't do anything. 29th got meeting at 6pm. Nobody pei wo-.-"
O well muz be independent lor. Still feeling very tired.
Miss those days when i was in sec sch. Something i cherish and will never lose. But it'll nv be the same again.><

yay!

2008-05-19T15:11:00.002+08:00

CSCC people called at 10:35pm yesterday, say i was selected for sub committee!!Was like quite happi, cux join committee quite fun.Last time ever been in welfare and logistics, monitress, selected for prefect( but decline cux too lazy), and group leader b4.But didn't tell them during interview cux like so redundant. BUT DEN still gt in. HOHO.Damn surprised:).
Juz woke up from afternoon nap and head is a little pain. FOM is super boring. But have to read up and produce some materials for discussion tomorrow. :)
Jia yous stefy!
BTW i got my tube!! at like $13. They were having a 50% discount. Muz look for cheap bargins cux now hang qing damn bad. Inflation also very high.Purchasing power drop le -.-"

sChOoL

2008-05-18T12:07:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i went out with Rebecca. And we went to chase ballons!! Damn funni la. But den didn't manage to get any ballons-.-" . But still it was fun. But it was rather hot. We were supposed to be shopping for tube dresses, but we ended up buying everything else except that. LOLS. I bought a shirt and a vest for outing purposes. Doubt i wud wear it to poly. HAHA.
Tube hunting has never been ez cux i'm too picky. But THAT'S MY RIGHT. MUAHAHA.
Aniways was a half hoping teh CSCC people wud call but alr 12:10 le. Doubt i got into sub committee. O well. The world still spins. HAHA.
Was doing correction of errors which is worse than closing of a/c. -.-" haven completed it.Maybe gg to Tanjong Pagar later. gO buy dunno wad cleanser.
Now better go finish my stupid PACC tutorial.

sChOoL

2008-05-15T00:32:00.003+08:00

tOday very tired. As usual, everyday also very tired. HAHA. Had ITAB today. Quite a information loaded lesson. But ok bahs.Came out alive in the end. HOHO.
Slept for quite long after i reached home. Was thinking pretty much about food today but couldn't really eat anitink when i saw the food.LOLS :S
Heard Dad talk about a 5 year old girl who cannot speak because she is intellectually impaired.( Always scream if i didn't rmb wrongly)Heard her parents sent her to a special school and they seeing some improvement le. Realli hope everything turns out fine for teh girl.
Although i dunno her bt den hear olready can actually feel my heart ache.Was a bit sad for some time.
Watched Healing hands 3 at 10pm just now. It's a realli nice show. Theres this girl who said: What's the point of working hard when u lost ur focus n ur goals and everything u believed in. I felt like that at one point of my life.
But then life always has its purpose. Muz respect life. At times we may lose focus but we must always find it back. A goal may be lost due to changes in life or even setbacks. But search within yourself and decide what matters the most. A old goal may be built on old values. when u lose sight of your current goal, review past actions and understand your feelings. New goals will arise as u seek a new path that defines what is uniquely you.:)

RaBbit.

2008-05-13T23:58:00.005+08:00

tOday FOM teacher dropped the bombshell... PBL 2. Was very sian during FOM tutorial. HAHA. Managed to do a bit of Economics today. Aunt called Mum yesterday about ah gong. She sounded pretty angry. I mean after all ah gong left mummy long ago. I only met ah gong like once in my life. I doubt he even cares if we're alive. Cux everytime he calls he only wants money. But then now hes sick.. need money then think of us.

Dunno wad to say also. After all he also my ah gong.He left with some girl, abandoned the whole family.Always visited prostitutes.. wad can i say. At first i was pretty reluctant to go see him, but then. Was the past le. Besides if mummy can forgive him den even more so for me. :)

Ah gong really very sick now. Blind, hard of hearing if i'm not wrong, always in pain. Feed him once.. didn't really feel anything for him.Couldn't. Wad to do. Tried to love him bt couldn't. Juz no feeling. Feel guilty sometimes. But that's all... haha, OMG the post getting depressing le. Lets talk about something happier.

Waa.. now currently feeling very tired. ITAB is damn sian. Haven started teh HW also. Dun intend to do cux do le also like nv do. During holidays go find : dummies for MS Excel n read bahx...now i'm as blur as a sotong in ITAB. But den nvm juz NU LI! muz Jia you!~

Realli miss me sec sch frenx. Still kpin intouch until now. Miss those crazy days..:) Hope ya guys r doing fine!

Thoughts

2008-05-11T02:08:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to Marriage D Amour. Listening to classical music since i got home. Doing PACC tutorial now. I think i should sleep now.Wore skirt in like about half a year. HAha. Since that incident dare not reali wear skirt. But den now ok le ba. HAHA.
Made some effort in dressing up today. Never did that since i left sec sch. Cux i couldn't really c a reason to do so. HAHA. my frenx all asking me why. Cux i dun c a reason to do so. HAHA. Since left sec sch.. realli change la. Dressing also become more conservative.Become more emo. But now in poly, trying to find myself back again:)
Until i find a reason i shall juz anihow grab the first thing i c in the morning to go sch. HAHA. dots...
Stomach pain. Cya ltr.

sAturdAy^_^~heLlOos..

2008-05-10T23:34:00.002+08:00

tOday woke up at 11am. HAha. slpet very long. But den like didn't have a very good sleep.Like still got insufficient rest.LOLS.Slept while the computer was on yesterday. Realli very sick yesterday.( A bit naseuous n headache)Plus not in a very good mood plus bad appetite.So skip mentoring camp.. didn't realli feel like gg in tt condition. HAHA. A bit dumb la.Wait there for like 2hrs den go there tell the person: i feel very sick realli needa go home. HAHA dots...teh girl say i realli look sick. i am aniway. LOLS.Lucky had the sweet frm teh Q n A by a grp of classmates.( cux low blood, sweet vv impt in times of headache)LOLS.
Aniways, EC ytd present over le. Damn relief. Just anyhow crap some stuff on environemnt. Lucky teacher not fierce not that scary baRhxx..
While working on my accountinglab, had to blow nose. The mucus got blood!( like inside the muscus.) damn disgusting. Yesterday morning also. LOLS. lucky no body saw the digusting mix. HAHA.Hand gt a bit rash too. Like ytd when i wait for the camp to start.
Sometimes vv de sian lol. sick muz all come tgt.Dun wan to tell my parents cux i dun wan them to worry den argue.. ah ya. troublesome la.
Muz rmb go take mediaction le. cux i think gg to have asthma attack. HAHA. i shd slp WELL. bt den cannot slp well also.sians..
Draining my energy la.
Went to c a concert today with a good fren(instead of resting, cux i hate doin ntg bt lying in bed). YJC de. Bu chuo la. Its called Arts Fusion. Like they mix CO with Chinese Drama and GEM(Guitar Ensemble dunno wad la). Damn cool la. Missed Canon in D. ah ya! damn it la. shd have walked faster(late for the concert)But fun la. Took Taxi home with my fren. Sit taxi so shuang. cux my leg pain, no need to walk frm YJC to mrt station which is like damn far.
O yes! MUZ SAY. They play by the Chinese Drama damn good leh. Its the story of Madam White Snake.Sad ending. The students realli acted very well. Rather humourous also, the performance. not bad.
hMmm.. today still got what ar..
O ya. went out tO meet Chailing. Juz for chit chat la. N 4 her to return me something.HAHA. my conclusion: JC is very de stressed.Discussed some BGR issues, Conclusion: dun anyhow. HAHA. actualli BGR, sometimes have is very burden de lor. Trust me bloggy.its not ani gd exp if u dun realli like the guy. its juz sianess. HAHA. aniways..
Went to visit a place with bad childhood memories.Of cux after Chailing left la.. LOLS.haha. muz face if nt will always haunt ba.Most of the time its juz at the back of my mind. HAHA.
damn tired now.. gO du tutorial den slp le.

Sunny side up!~

2008-05-08T19:46:00.003+08:00

tOdae.. had teh CD presentation. Glad its over. Cux our topic: Work was realli a very sian topic. I told myself to persevere~^^. Tried hard not to think so much about the sianess of the topic. CD supposed to be fun but its like a drag to me now. Haha. O well.FOM project made more sense. Ok la. Presentation also over liao. Tomorrow got assesment for EC.Our choosen topic is environment. Probobaly gonna crap something.HAHA.Jia Yi and Jia Qi said they are going to read their geography textbook. I dunno. A bit lazy to research on environemt. Blogging as an excuse to nOt start researching.

hMmm.. actualli i tink mi classmates can present quite well. Like quite confident and all and i seriously think i am so dead. cux i think mi presentation sux. O WELL. HAHA.

Today feel very tired. Actually feel very tired for the whole week cux of projects. Everyone in mi grp all tried their best le. Everyone seems so sian these few days and Tiffany's sick. Sometimes zone in out of conversations and lectures. HOHO. I'm trying my best to pay attention.. haha.

Had the CSCC interview yesterday before meeting my sec sch fren( cannot name her cux she say cannot-.-")at City hall. During interview i was a bit sian. dunno wad i answering also. Waited for my turn for a long time.I was quite truthful.I just said what was on my mind. Didn't really think about giving model answers. HOHO.i wasn't tense either cux i was too tired to feel tense, HAHA. Trying hard not to complain la. But since u r mi blog hor so NVM. HAHA.

Anyways, was damn glad to c my fren! HAHA. Accompany her go buy guitar.Looking forward to listen to her play CANON in D. i really love that song. Asked Jia Ying to play for me on mi Birthday. AND she said YES. So happi. realli love that song. i wud be so happi if someone played tt song for me on mi BD. HAHA. Jia Ying said she saw a dove at Jurong this morning. OMG i wan 2 see also. i dun think i've seen one b4( i'm a mountain tortise)

Tomorrow after school got mentoring camp. HAHA. A bit lazy to go... But then.. go play play lah. HAHA.but me nt gg 4 nightwalk. no courage.. i admit la. HAHA. dun wan to be scared liao. HAHA. gO a few times b4. i tell u hor, nightwalk DUN stand in front or behind. SCARY lol. HAHA.

Kays... i better gO study.. HAHA.
PS: today's PACC lesson was a killer. -.-"

sha la la la la

2008-05-03T00:04:00.003+08:00

tOday i woke up at 745 am and i was like OMG i'm gonna be late.
But i acted in a calm manner and pretended that everything was just fine. At 8am i left the house ( Thank goodness my father sent me to PR MRT station) and reached dover mrt station at around 8.50am.Then i went to meet Jia Yi and Jia Qi before heading to the classroom. and teacher was not there yet! so we had to stand outside the classroom to wait.Actualli it was alright waiting but the sun was like shining on us!! lols. so hot.
Yesterday slept late to finish FOM and CD . Wasn't very satisfied with my work la but no choice le, in the end sent the i not proud of it work to Kerrin.HAHAs.
Actualli poly ok la. but suddenly eh going to week 4 le MUZ cheong all the projects. den i was like OMG so fast. In week 3 i still in lala land lor.
Now very awake le cux nxt week have to do presentations for FOM,CD and EC liaoxXx.
Not being of any help was that i am sick. Like i have runy nose and cough (with phelgm) den i cannot sing liaos. O WELL...
Today gO sch like never go lol.During lectures, i was like zoning out la.And during PACC i realised that THE WHEAT POTATO from SP KFC was still in mi bag and it was SQUASHED. and mi PACC TB and mi file DIO the potato LOR.i was like... i dunno wad to say.and i was like short of tissue and mi mucus was almost DRIPPIN. lucky Jia yi ask teh girl in front for tissue paper~~ haha used up almost all of herr tissue. -.-"
Den econs.. HAHA econs. eyes almost close liao. become-.- le. yi tiao xian. den today gt mentoring briefing, i also wan 2 slp sia. bt ok la. made it home safely.
den wanted to like slack slack but haf to go out for dinner.( muz be thankful 4 food so i shdn't complain..LALALA)
aniways now vv tired le so go slp liao. tml gg to play badminton n they will noe hw losuy i play. HAHA. lalala.
eyes yao close le. so tata bloggy~~

Lollipop

2008-04-26T00:41:00.002+08:00

When I talk about lollipop here it is not to refer to the sweet candy that teachers love to give their students on Children's Day.It is actually a name given to an event organised by SP!

Actually it is a free entry to MOS.And since Amanda wanted to go and she asked me along, i decided to go too.

When i reached home( to change out of my SP flagday T-short that i was wearing) it was already 5.40pm and i was to meet Amanda at Pasir Ris MRT station at like 6pm. Rush like mad can !but Amanda still later than me.HOHOHO. hahas.^_^

Anyways also never prepare what to wear. Too lazy to find accessories to wear also so i just grabbed anything. BUT IZ presentable ok. I wore a black tube with jeans. Simple.

Aniways we reached Clarke Quay at dunno wad time cux we took the wrong train( Blur like sotong). We queued for approximately one hour before the bouncer announced that we had to pay to get in even though we were SP students. The reason was that it was a full house AND den there was a problem of scaricity(space). I think it costs about $16 ( the enterance ticket) LOLS.

In the end we decided to go to C Clinic instead. Its pretty near MOS and it was SUPPOSED to be an opportunity cost or something. But anyway i didn't order any drinks cux it was too expensive and it didn't go eazi on mi wallet. Well i got to see the enterance of MOS n peek into the place. Took quite a few photos with Amanda and her classmates( DAC04 year '07).

It was still quite a fun time though cux we spent the time bonding and chatting. Not too bad lah.( though i am nt their classmate bt didn feel left out 4 some reason) .

On a quest to satisfy our thirst , we headed down to Downtown east for a drink at Superdog. I tried the Strawberry Sensation while Amanda had the Ice Chocolate. Hm.. hw shd i put it. The Strawberry Sensation was really sweet like a bit too sweet and unhealthy but i liked it nonetheless^^.
After that we headed home.
It was a realli fun day.
When i have the time i'll put in the pictures we took!!and when i learn how to do that! haha.
Really thank everyone who made life really enjoyable for me. xiexie.^^
PS: supposed to be published like long time ago-.-""

2nd day 2nd week..WOA.

2008-04-22T19:35:00.003+08:00

hMmm.. today ah. First i shall begin by saying that today is Tuesday which apparently all you guys know already. Today i went to school earlier today to have lunch with some of my classmates. (too lazy to name all) hmm.. Tiffany, Jia Yi, Jia Qi, the malay girls , Sam and a guy whose name i cn't seem to rmb( pardon me for mi forgetfulness) .
Anyways today's first lesson was FOM. We had to do brainstorming and then later do a short presentation in front of the whole class.
For some unknown reason it wasn't as bad as presentation in my JC class or in my sec sch class.
Jia Yi says it may be because the classroom is very big and the class is like smaller than sec sch.. i dunno. But a JC class also consists of at most 24 students. Maybe DAC01 people for some reason are not as intimidating bah. (laughs)
Reached home at about 6 plus coming to seven pm and i feel rather tired, though i didn't do anything much in school also.
Tomorrow, have to go T2248 to get something done. A bit sian lor. But no choice.
Stats was not as boring as lecture. Mr David is quite a funny tutor and i can understand what je says which is a good thing.
Of all my modules, i like PACC the most. Although i have no accounting background at all, i still like PACC!^^ very fun. haha. anyways, GTG liao. this post very de Bo liao. nxt time will post something more interesting ...LOLS

uPdate!! upDate^^

2008-04-18T19:50:00.004+08:00

yOo blog! long time no see.^^..Actually also got nothing i really wanna say ba..
Ehx.. update on my life..
Kays so today is friday. 1 week into the school term. This week we had to get our groups and stuff like that as we'll be doing projects. Basically, my class is a nice class and i made some realli nice friends there. I hope all my classmates find good friends in class as we will be together for 3 years and it would be rather lonely and sad if someone couldn't find a friend they can really mix well with. :)
It's a realli sUxy feeling that i experienced before. Sometimes people leave others out without knowing it.
Well.. it happens but we should try to make sure no one gets left out.
Anyways, i was with a girl all the time during oreintation but we don realli stick ard tt much animore cux she went to join 2 other people and i kinda feel odd n left out in their company^^ luckily there were other classmates that made me feel i belong to the class like Jia ying and Jia yi( the 2 jiayous as tiffany says..LOL) . BTW Tiffany likes tO draw n write cute pictures in books. HAHA.Reminds me of my sec sch life. Damn fun...aniways life goes on.
Whatever it is i hope everyone in DAC01 happily walks through this 3 yrs journey together^^

Jap Class^^ Fun fun!

2008-04-06T20:01:00.002+08:00

Thursday de Jap class was damn fun can!! MUZ BLOG abt it. Damn funni. also forgot wad was so funni. Juz funni lol. Sensei taught us how to say time in jap.Den also got class activities. Super fun n funni. Though i a bit lazy to do revision. Muz discipline le.. HAHA. gO the jap class nv realli make ani frenx but seriously damn fun. Maybe cux gt mi sec sch de fren n a girl frm TP. Man yi is her name i tink. HAHA.
Jap is fun bt i dunno if i shd cont learning on. now its 70% will be see when sch start le how bahs. Still gt unfinished hw.. dots-.-""

Sunday 6th April. One day b4 Oreintation

2008-04-06T17:57:00.003+08:00

tOday i woke up at 11 am. I looked at the clock and then...WOA.. 11 am le. I seldom wake up that late..
Tomorrow is the first day of oreintation at SP. I haven really decided what i'm gonna wear tml. Plus i nidda bring extra clothes cux there r water games. This means i needa tink twice as hard .. namely think about what to bring and what to wear. I stare at my wardrobe and i still can't decide so i have decided to put it off till 7pm b4 deciding. Through SAS i know mi class is DAC01 . Hopes it'll be a nice class.
Aniways, my head hurts now. It has been hurting since like 2 days ago. T_T.
Realli hopes it gets better tml^^.
Aniway today i read a book tittled manage your mind. I borrowed it from the library and i thought it was a really nice book.
Basically it talks about how to maintain mental well being. In its first chapter it tells us to value ourselves independently of your achievements. People tend to value themselves according to their achievements. But some people with very low self esteem,may feel that if people praise them, its because people's expectations are lower and not because they are deserving of praise. This is actually not a good thing because the person will have grave self doubts and this is not good to mental well being at all.
The books has many chapters and if i feel like it i will discuss it in future posts.^^
Actually in my point of view, people are always knowingly or unknowingly feeling self doubt.( to varying degrees) Even for people who are arrogant. Deep insdie they have a greater , more incomprehensionable sense of self doubt.
Self doubt is being unfair to yourself. it sucks out your strength and lowers the quality of your life. It is valuing other people's values and opinions more than yours and more than you should.
A miserable person may perform well if they are equipped with the skills to excel in their choosen fields. However they will constantly feel stressed and discontentment.
Self doubt may also stem from double standards. This means you set 2 different standards for yourself and for others. And you set a much higher standard for yourself compared to the standards you set for others. This is not a very good thing to do as it makes one feel even more useless and it underrates and buries your true worth.
In my opinion, it is ok to have higher expectations of oneself to push yourself to the limit you think you can endure.. If you should fail to reach that higher expectation, you should credit yourself with trying and facing the challange, and not berate yourself.
^^ in any case, rmb to feel good about yourself dear readers. Tommorow will be a better day if you let it be^^.
Ok BB. long post. hands also tired le. Brain dead n head still pain. dots. HAHA. until then. lalala

BLOGGY I'm BACK

2008-03-23T15:27:00.003+08:00

Hello blog! sO long never blog liao.HOW R U !! aniways its sunday today and tml haf to go SP to get sometink done. Hmm... aniways i cut mi hair. YES TGT with all fan ren de dong xi. CUT CUT CUT.hmm.. i hope orientation will be fun wor.Hopes mi classmates will be nice people.All the best for me in this new year!! haha
Hopes mi frenx are doing fine too.
Aniways i watched a programme yesterday which i thought was not bad. It's kinda like a an inspirational programme.
Aniways the guy said to be successful one mustn't be afraid of failures and the way people look at you. For every undertaking there is something to be learnt. Do not be afraid of trying new things just because you are afraid of failure or people's mocking stares and vicious words.For every failure there will be a greater success somewhere later in life.Each failure is a transition to success. One should not be afraid of failures and stand up after each failure,
This i believe is true. Whenever someone encounters failure it becomes part of his/her unpleasant memory thus creating the impression in that person's mind that he or she is incapable of doing that thing again or for the matter of a fact other things as well.
However, we should change our perception. This is because, if that person has failed in something he/ she has alr an experience and a lesson more than others which is instrumental to suceeding the second time. Past experience should warn us of dangers but not to discourage us from trying the things we failed in or even new things.If one tatctic leads to failure then try another until something works. Determination is the key here, its different from stubborness.^^

ALL THE BEST EVERYONE. may this piece of advice spur u on to greater heights

First Jap lesson

2008-03-06T23:37:00.003+08:00

Today i had my first jap lesson at Cambridge learning centre. It was pretty fun but i couldn't concentrate very well cux i was sleepy.I tried though. The sensei was pretty funny. Her name is Fumie Kuriyama. Quite a mouthful.
Aniwayes ,Japanese have super lotsa ways of saying one thing, like formal informal etc...Had a hard time trying to catch up. Haha. Takes me a lot of effort when i'm trying to learn sometink new.Can't usually get things right the first time. Try bahs^^.
They have these wad particle, subject verb thingy.Woa....
Chong hun le nao dai.Hahas. Currently i am trying to finish my Jap homework before i forget anitink else. However, i probobaly will not be able to finish it today since i am like half asleep-.-"
Now i realli wish i have a good memory....

Juz too sian to say anitink.

2008-02-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

currently nt in a vv gd mood. I woke up this morning n all of a sudden i wasn't in a gd mood, so the whole day was like sian sian one. Also dunno why. Juz sian + emotionless. Feel like an unfeeling thing. LOL. Wadeva. Dun really noe wad to tink of feel. Nw the hse damn quiet.Vv sleepy also cn't slp. LOL. hmm.. juz go slp better. Tml will be a better day^^ LALALA.
A busy life is not equal to a meaningful life. I have no interests wadeva. Sometimes i wonder what is my calling in life. I dun even noe why i am here. I juz noe i am so i have to make mi best effort to find out why i am here n wad i'm gonna do.....

Be thankful for what i have and strive for what makes life more meaningful.( which i dunno luh) LOLS, LALALA

Hamster

2008-02-28T19:01:00.003+08:00

it's raining heavily outside now. And i think i'm gonna get a fever soon. O man! better not. I hate being sick. >_<-ta bian da bu chu de face. I gotta go drink lotsa water and take panadol(last resort) haha...

Today Coco(Ke ke) my favourite hamster is as cute as ever. She clinged onto my finger with her paws ^_^ . She always stands by the cage door whenever i'm near and will jump out when i open the door. She will only jump out if its my hand which is at the cage door. She's really adorable and of cux i simply adore her. LOL. ^^

She is a responsive hamster. Just the way i like her. Keke the cute hamster... LOL

Jiu shi random lol.

2008-02-27T23:03:00.003+08:00

^^...Wo de peng you Zong yu kao wan le. Online you ren pei wor le^^. Tml shi kan dao Hui fen for the last time b4 A levels. O~ xiang nian o.. haha... you ke hao bei ai de gan jue o. haha. A level ma. Mei ban fa de la^_^. Hmmm.... Da jia yao hao hao du shu jiang lai cai neng zuo ke you yong de ren...HAHA...Poly the exams will be over by this week ba. LOL.

i dunno what to say.

2008-02-20T19:01:00.002+08:00

I just came back from Tampines^^ Good to go out so that i won't rot at home. Went there with my grandmother and my grandmother bought me a bag and a clip.Everytime i go out with her she feels she has to buy something for me but actually its not necessary.^^ I can give her the company mahs. It's not like paid companionship or something. LOLs.
My companionship is not exchangable for money. LOLs. hahas.
My grandmother is actually sick . She has a serious bubble in her brain that threatens to burst anytime and if it widens its also ...
A surgery is too risky hence everyone has decided to let nature run its course.
Naturally i am also worried but i really dunno what to say.
I just really want her everyday to be filled with happiness and joy .
Sometimes i think i am such a small figure in such a big world.
What i can do is very limited
i only hope to bring joy to those ard me.
Prob i have nt fared vv well bt i've tried my best.

^^ tell me where is the rainbow^^

Dreams

2008-02-20T10:13:00.005+08:00

Dreams are what scienctists believe reflects our unconscious mind.They reflect our inner most thoughts and desires or maybe a fear. Dreams can also show us what we are feeling and thinking but are not aware of.

Dreams can also be a replay of a day's events and what we hope can happen or hope to see.

Dreams can be fantisies or it can be just like reality. It can be logical or illogical , sensible or totally impossible. No matter what we dream , it tells us something about ourselves that we may not know. However it tells us these secrets in intricate riddles that are hard to comprehend and unlock the mysteries behind them.

For instance, dreaming of being chased stems from the feeling of anxiety in our waking life. The way we respond to a pressure or anxiety is often reflected in a chase dream. When you dream of being chased my someone it means you are trying to run away or hide from someone or something, like stress,that you think is harming or threating you.It is instinctive in everyone . In your waking life ,you might feel that there is someone who is trying to destroy you and you may be trying to evade the issue.This dream is an indication of fear.It's what scientists call a nightmare.

In this way dreams tell us a lot of ourselves. It lets us know in a round about way what is currently weighing on our mind and what is important to us that we have not addressed. It also tells us a bit about our metal well-being which we may not be fully aware of. For example,,we may not know that we are stressed over something but a chase dream indicates to us that we are subconsciously troubled over something .

Dreams can also reflect our fantisies and desires. For instance a young child may dream about being a princess as she feels being royalty is fun and she can be pampered. This is of course an innocent fantasy which is a healthy part of a young child's growing up process . It is a part of imagination, or maybe admiration about certain traits that a princess ought to have. Another example would be , an avid gambler who desires to win every bet may dream of being a millionaire just by gambling and winning every bet he takes.

In these ways, dreams tells us a lot about our emotional well-being and reinforces what is important to us.

To some people, dreaming of certain objects or animals are warning signs or a good omen. Take for an example, some people believe that seeing a canary in your dream signifies happiness and harmony or to dream that you are experiencing delight, signifies a favorable and positive turn of events and much pleasantness. That of course is up to an individual's belief:)

In my opinion dreams are useful for understanding more about ourselves and should be used to guide us through life^^. A chase dream should alert us to take notice of our feelings and do something about it. Dreaming about being an actor may denote that indicate that you are putting up an act and am not showing your true self to others. You may know it but a dream reinforces it .It makes you want to ponder more about it., think about this dream and , why you are not being yourself and am putting up an act. Could it be that you are afraid that others might not like you for who you are? Do you lack the courage to be yourself ?Maybe you don't know that you are subconsciously burying your true nature due to circumstances (like maybe you are sensitive by nature but become very hard hearted due to harsh conditions like abusive parents at home but you don't realise it) .

Dreams help us understand ourselevs, our emotions, desires and fantisies better. With this understanding we can improve ourselves and face up to our problems and solve it .Or maybe even to make us more determined to achieve our desires because now we know it means much more to us than we thought it was before.:)(LOL juz dun do anitink evil or harm ppl or go commit the 7 sins or sometink. sometink healthy^^like having a gd career without sarbotaging others or harming them.Bt muz be wary of ppl. Shu yu shuo Fang ren zhi xin bu ke wu, hai ren zhi xin bu ke you.lalala)

simplicity

Friday outing!

The wind against my face=D

LALA=D

hehe!

Focus!

Don't judge me!

Where do i go from here?

random

Redang Part1.1

Redang Part 1

treasure=D

TT

COST!

5 phrases=)

refelction=D

Mistakes

zhen shi de

Lost and gone.

SMU's open house

WHY?

FO Pub! U r welcome to have a drink!

I miss..

Outing with cheeze

1 litre of tears

Volunteerisim and me.

Last goodbye

can you see my effort.. please.

I should try harder

Journey to self discovery.

TIRED AHHHH

Is there something i can do?

Aspiration camp 09/10

=)

Minds camp!

Today

gan xiang

Tired bt happy day=D

Dance!

Night Safari and MINDS dance.

chum chum feelings=D=C

Secretary!!!

Confessions

Erm..

BDS!

LTC afterthoughts

tOday=present

suan le

Lalala

Random thoughts

lol

Balance leh u dumb balance sheet.

sick.

~~depressing

Lalala

poem

crap

it juz gets worse.

haha. sobs.

shalalala

Results

i randomly choose to love you. NL- no link

me

Human girl

Just me

:)

Sians

CAs=.=

CHEONG AH~~

2nd July

school

Exams!

ITAB

hOlidays:))

*Lalala* HAHAHa

Mood?

speechless

Mentoring

tired

yay!

Lalala HAHAHa